The DaddyYo Dude

Time to Come to the Table: Dad Consumers and Brands

2012-03-10T07:40:00.000-05:00

The 21st century. Remember when that seemed so far away? Remember the days way back when that you thought the year 2000 would bring about the flying car like Back to the Future II? Well, those days of dreaming have come to an end as the 21st century rolls on through its second decade. We don't have flying cars, we don't make fuel out of garbage. But that's okay. Because there are still amazing things going on.

This week, in my opinion, brought about a huge window of opportunity for dad consumers. We are well familiar now with the "Great Huggies Debacle of 2012". Even myself got involved and voiced my concern and disappointment with the ad campaign that brought about the controversy in the first place. With a loud voice, the dad consumers spoke out. Huggies, a brand that has always been very mom focused when it comes to marketing, listened, and responded. In this, they showed an initiative that has not been seen out of many brands when it comes to the dad consumer.

I have seen the changes, read the statements, and I have accepted the brand's initiative. So before moving on, let me say to Erik Siedel and the Huggies brand: Thank you for taking the steps you have, and going the extra mile to further foster a dialogue about the issue. My invitation stands for anyone from the brand (or any brand), who wants to discuss how to promote a healthy brand and consumer relationship, to feel free to contact me. Huggies, you pulled your chair up to the table, and I will pull mine up as well. In fact, I think the dad community as a whole should bring the tones down, and pull up their chairs also.

*What Dads and Brands Can Learn from Huggies*

As I look around the web tonight, within the dad-o-sphere, I see many reactions. I see people who accept the initiative from Huggies, those who don't. I see others taking on other ads and brands, and I see some that have said who cares, it was just a commercial. To each their own and everyone is entitled to an opinion. My opinion after the recent actions of the Huggies brand, and some thinking on the general subject of dad consumers and brands, is that now is the time to come to the table.

If there is no greater knowledge to be learned from this, it is that the dad consumer voice has now grown loud enough, and the corporate world has now grown bigger ears. Both sides made great strides in merging the gap between, and this is a momentum that needs to grow, grow quickly, and grow fiercely. The time is now. The time for both sides of the creek to build a bridge together in a professional, mutual, and friendly team effort.

Dads, we have shown that the voice we carry as a whole can speak loud enough to be heard. Let us take our collective voice to the task of showing our initiative to engage with brands in a manner that is constructive. Invite brands to hear your ideas, to hear what the growing consumer voice wants to see from them. Then, let us listen, and wait.

Brands, you have seen the power of a growing part of your consumer audience. Embrace that power and feed of it for the road to be paved for productive dialogue. We will come to you to work with you, not against you, and all you have to do is listen, and respond. You want our dollars and approval, and we want to see that you recognize the importance of listening to the whole audience.

The 21st century has certainly been an interesting one so far. The world has seen much change, great change, large and small. Some change is bad. Some change is good. What we can enjoy and build on is that change is inevitable but malleable. Change can be changed itself, and it is up to us to determine how that happens. In the brand and consumer world, this means active engagement and active listening. Working together, surely the change cannot fail us.

My invitation stands. Any brand that is willing to help us determine the change we create, give a shout at your dude. My head is always exploding with ideas. Your brand is always exploding with ideas. My ears are patient if yours are too. Let's talk. Let's start the dialogue, and let's start it right here at the table.

It's All We Have

2012-03-09T23:42:00.000-05:00

You know, the thought of dying, makes me glad that my life just sucks sometimes. Because in the end, it is still life, and it is all I have. - TheDaddyYoDude

Today was a very nerve wrecking day. My wife had surgery to have a bronchial cleft cyst removed from the right side of her neck. I wasn't able to be there with her during the surgery as I had parenting responsibilities to maintain today, par the usual Friday routine. I was nervous and worried all morning. And I'm sure she was triply so. It is very unsettling when something like that is going on and you cannot be there. I was not relieved in the least until the text came in that she was out, and everything had gone better than expected.

After she was discharged, and we got home and got her settled, I had to run out for a few things. On my way back in, I saw that there was a funeral going on in the cemetery behind our apartment. It always breaks my heart to look out of the back windows and see that there is a family, a group of friends, mourning the loss of another person. Upon seeing that this was taking place at the time, it really dawned on me that things could always be so much worse.

Recently, things in my life have not been all rainbows and sunshine. In fact, they have been quite crappy. I'm sparing details because, well, it's private matters, but the last few weeks have been trying, frustrating, upsetting, confusing, and pretty crappy. I can't tell you how many times I have used the #FML hashtag or the phrase itself in real life. I've been a Debbie Downer and have wanted to just disappear for a while.

The reality of it all? Whether I am at fault or not, I cannot run away from it. This is the life I have, these are the decisions to make, these are the problems I created or was handed. That's a tough thing to have to comprehend at times. To face all of the demons, all of the decisions, and all of the outcomes or repercussions takes cajones bigger than a bull. But at times, we just have to swell them up and dive head first into it all.

To do this though, there has to be one thing present: Faith. I'm not talking religion, not talking about God, or whatever higher power you may or may not believe in. I'm talking simple faith. Faith that at some point, things have to get better. Faith that we have it within ourselves to change what needs to be changed, accept the things we cannot change, and faith that there is something to be hopeful for. In times of desperation, faith is all we can have.

It's not easy for all to put faith in anything. I can totally relate to this on many many levels. Sometimes, the odds seem too great, the chips stacked too high, and the dealer is counting cards. We've dug ourselves too deep for a ladder, but too shallow for the backhoe. I could continue on in metaphoric bliss, but I shall spare you the filler. This is what I am trying to say:

If you have ever been at the point where you feel as a stranger to your own life, I feel ya. When you get to that point where anything, anything, has to be better than what is, I feel ya. I've been there too. When it seems that disappearing becomes more than a magic trick, there is but one saving grace,

"All we can have by now is faith. If we wake in the morning, faith has been proven, not because it is a BETTER day, but because we received ANOTHER day. Therefore, faith exists in us not by choice, but by being granted to us at the beginning of each day." - TheDaddyYoDude

The Dude's Open Letter to Huggies

2012-03-07T11:54:00.000-05:00

To Whom it May Concern with the Huggies Marketing Team,

In 2010, I was invited as a guest blogger on the Highchair Critics Parents Panel. With a blog that was only four months old, and having had no experience before in being involved in brand work online, it was a dream come true. It made me feel like I must be doing something right. A brand that is more commonly known for reaching out to and marketing to mothers, asked for little old dude. I was honored and thrilled.

A year and some months later, Huggies decides to launch a campaign. This campaign, according to the brand, is to celebrate and promote fatherhood. And that is all well and good. Fatherhood, and more so, ACTIVE AND INVOLVED fatherhood should be celebrated. Being a primary caregiver of a child, no matter the sex, is something to be celebrated. People standing up, being involved in the lives of their children, caring for their children the way we are called to, is something to be celebrated.

Now, let's see how you choose to announce this "celebration" of fatherhood. Can I quote for a moment?

"To prove that Huggies diapers and wipes can handle anything, we put them to the toughest test imaginable: Dads, alone with their babies, in one house, for five days."

That is what your commercial says. It actually says "Dads, alone with their babies, in one house, for five days" is the toughest diaper and wipe test imaginable. Before I go on let me ask you this, have you tested to see if your wipes can clean the crayon off my wall like the Wal-Mart brand wipes? Cause they don't. Have you tried to use a Huggies diaper as a puke bag? I have. It was a disaster. Another brand, however, actually soaked puke up off my floor. Now, I know, most people don't use diapers for such a manner, but it was the only thing immediately within reach at the time of the incident. Have you tested to see if your diapers and wipes can be used as bulletproof protection? Have you tested to see if they can hold up in a major fire? Are they tough enough that just 4 diapers and a pack of wipes could last me 5 days after a nuclear attack?

Am I stretching it a bit?

Here is the point:

You have failed. You have failed to promote anything but your brand. Hey, I know, that is what marketing is for. And you did your job well. Because now the internet is buzzing with the Huggies brand name. That's what you want, right? If the answer is yes, then you need to seriously rethink your marketing strategy. Sure, your brand name is everywhere right now. But that is not always a good thing. My name was everywhere when I got arrested shortly after getting married, but it wasn't a boost to my ratings, socially.

How can you sit back, and fire off that you are only trying to promote fatherhood, when in turn, you are making a complete mockery of it? How could you invite me to be a part of your brand a year and a half ago, and come out now and say that the fact that my kids are alone with me for five days a week is the ultimate test of the strength and durability of your product? How can you insult hundreds of thousands of dads, who serve as the primary caregiver, and in some cases, THE ONLY caregiver, to their children?

This isn't about marketing. It's not about who buys more diapers, mom or dad. Yes, statistics show who buys more. I know you know those numbers. Its your job to. But here are some numbers you didn't know.

Diapers I have changed since the birth of my first child: Over 10,000
Bottles prepared and administered by dad in our house: Over 10,000
Hours of sleep given up to caregiver responsibilities: Way too many
Number of times that my kids being in my care was the toughest test imaginable: NONE
Number of petitions and signatures being gathered because of your campaign: Growing Exponentially

You see, I am a dad. I have two children, that five days a week, are under my direct care. I have an apartment, crappy as it is, that is my responsibility to keep up and keep clean. I have laundry to take off tonight, dishes to wash after I write this, dinner to cook tonight for the kids, bath time, bedtime, story time, poop diapers, underwear accidents, hair to brush, teeth to brush, a kid to pick up off the bus stop, a kid that keeps coloring on my walls, a car to work on, job hunting to do, blog work and brand work, emails to answer, ABC's to teach, reading to teach, playtime to coordinate, sibling rivalry to intervene in, discipline to be handed out when needed, the potential for my emergency preparedness to be tested, and a weekend ahead that will add the responsibility of caring for a wife, post surgery.

If that campaign is how you "celebrate" the above paragraph, then please, celebrate with someone else. I don't need celebration. I don't need a nationwide campaign. My responsibilities will be covered, be met, and my family will be taken care of. I don't need anyone to pat my back and tell me what a great job I did. It's a calling to be a dad, to be a husband, to be a caregiver. It's not a challenge. Being dad, is not "the toughest challenge imaginable". It's the most rewarding job you will never get paid for.

I'm Glad I Don't

2012-03-06T11:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was hanging on the couch and surfing through my Facebook news feed. As I scrolled down through all the stupid updates from pages I wish I had never liked, I came across the following status from a friend of my wife. It simply said:

"wish I had everything figured out...."

I pondered this briefly before posting my comment: "But then again, if you did, life would be pretty boring."

As the afternoon wore on yesterday, and the normal course of events was running on schedule, I started thinking about that status more and more. "Wish I had everything figured out". As hell hour rolled upon us and the kids were at each other's throats, as I was cleaning up spilled juice, crushed up crackers, and smashed penne noodles, I started thinking about it really hard. What if I did have it all figured out?

If I had it all figured out, I would never have to worry about sibling rivalry, potty accidents, skinned knees and hurt feelings. There wouldn't be such a mess to clean, or time outs, or discipline and diversion tactics, or jumping on the bed. I would not have to worry about money, I wouldn't have to worry about cars, or bills, or groceries, or trash and laundry duty. There would be absolutely nothing to have to think about.

I would sit on the couch all day, or drive around for no reason, or blow ridiculous amounts of money at the mall with Little Girl. Little Man and I would buy the coolest Nerf guns and have all out war at home. There would never be a single worry. Never. But would that be a great life to live?

Sure, everyone wants less stress, sadness, anger, sorrow, and so forth. But never having to challenge yourself , never having to jump to quick decisions, never having the unexpected, well, that would just suck really. The ability to answer every question without thought, without learning, gaining and sharing knowledge, is no way to have to go about this crazy life. It's what makes life what it is.

I'm glad I don't have all the answers. Despite fear, sorrow, anger, sadness, stress, and defeat, I enjoy having trials. I enjoy making split second decisions because I have to. I like having to search for answers in order to gain knowledge. I like the experience of life.

Do you wish you had all the answers? If you did, would life be better or worse? Your thoughts?

Cannot Believe I Am Saying This

2012-03-05T17:23:00.000-05:00

When most of you read the title to this post, you probably thought "Oh God, what kind of bomb is he about to drop". When my wife first read the title to this post, she said "YES! He's going to admit that I was right!" And when my parents first read the title to this post, the thought "We told you so!"

It's possible that all three of those statements will be true by the end of this post, but you can decide which one is appropriate at the end. So now that this image of Doc will be burned into your head for the remainder of the day, let's move on with the post.

I became a mostly-at-home dad a couple of months ago. Meaning, my wife got a job, Monday through Friday, so I am the at home parent those days. I work part-time at a joint in town as a cook on Saturday and Sunday. At the time, I was coming out of working 50+ hours a week, seven days a week, and barely seeing my kids grow up in front of me. I was totally stoked that I would only be working two days a week, and the rest would be filled with laughter, games, playtime, movies, crafts, and all sorts of fun crap with the kids. Well, I cannot believe I am saying this but:

*This is Monotonous*
There, I said it. That's a load off. This is the part where my wife is smiling that big ole victory smile and my parents are grinning with "I told you so'... or they are laughing... one or the other. This was not at all what it is cracked up to be. This being at home with the kids thing. My children are about to turn five and three. They are fiercely independent for the most part. Unless they are wanting something to eat. Then it's all about daddy and mommy. They are also as stubborn as their old man. And this creates quite a few problems.

So the daily routine, for now, comes with plenty of time out, saying "no" a million times, and trying to bestow the knowledge that no, girls and boys are both as able to go first as the other. The daily routine very rarely changes. Either not enough money to go out and do something, not enough time, or the weather is just owning us that day. Variance, is just not a common word in our routines. This is definitely not what I thought it was going to be. I love my kids dearly. I really do. But at times, I will admit, I feel like I'm trapped where I am at right now.

*Thank God for my Job*
HOLY COW HE REALLY SAID IT!!! Everyone I work with that reads this is thinking "Oh... Em....Gee.... He did not. Did he?" Well, yeah. I did. Before I get carried away, I'm not saying I dearly love my job. It has its major downsides. If you follow me on Twitter, you probably get a sense of this. But it's the only thing that really provides variety in my life. It's the only part of the week where you never know what is going to happen. There's much to do, much to keep busy, or many pranks to be played on people. No shift is ever the same as the other.

People always ask me "What are you doing here?!" when I drop by on days off. My usual answer, "Just needed out of the house for a few." Since we moved to our current location, the only friends I have known have been mostly those I work with. They are the only familiar faces outside of the house. And my co-workers are characters. I know I'll never work anywhere else quite like it.

I'm not one to really hide the downside of things from the blog, as I believe that the space here is best used writing what I really know and feel. And right now, this is it. I love being alive. I love waking up in the morning. I love being able to feel stress, and anger, and sadness. I love being happy, being healthy, and having relationships with my fellow humans. It's all a part of the general experience. The remedy to these blues? Oh, who the hell knows. I sure don't. But for now, this is life. And I accept it.

I can't believe I am saying this, but sometimes not always liking what you do, is better off than being on the far side of either lawn the fence separates.

Funny Things are Everywhere

2012-03-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

Where would the world be without Dr. Seuss? Seriously, ponder what the world would be like, if there had never been "Green Eggs and Ham" or "Horton Hears a Who" or "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish". Dr. Seuss was not just a children's book author, he was a visionary. An imaginary. His creations were incendiary.

If ever a writer understood, and projected his understanding of imagination, the power of a child's imagination, it was Theodore Seuss Giesel. The characters and worlds and possibilities that he created, embody the little parts of the mind, where our children's greatest fantasies hide.

Today we say Happy Birthday to Dr. Seuss. As a child, one of my favorite books was "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish". I knew that book like the back of my hand. Fast forward 20 years later, and at night, I lie in bed with my son, and we read this same book. He laughs at the Gaks, and at the Yink that winks and drinks pink ink. His eyes shine brightly as he points to each creature, and he laughs a hearty belly laugh when I get tongue tied on the rhyming. My little girl is a Cat and the Hat fanatic. Even the movie. She will watch it with wonder and for hours on end.

To celebrate Dr. Seuss's birthday, the National Education Association recognizes March 2nd as Read Across America Day. Parents, teachers, librarians, school volunteers, all over the country, will be celebrating the works of Dr. Seuss with reading events, or reading in the home. Tomorrow night my wife will be at work, and as part of the bedtime routine, we will be sitting down to read a few Seuss classics before the kids lay down there heads, and drift off to dreamland in their beds.

Click on either link above to learn more about Read Across America, the history of Dr. Seuss and his works, and even download and print off some fun activity sheets! Follow along on Twitter with me tomorrow as I hope to bring you fun Dr. Seuss facts, and links to fun Seuss related activities for the kids.

Happy Friday everyone! Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss! And remember:

"From there to here, and from here to there, funny things are everywhere!"

The Dude's Babysitting Service

2012-03-01T11:33:00.000-05:00

The DaddyYo Dude

"The Dude's Babysitting Service"

Objective:

Certified dad looking to NOT be called a babysitter just because I am the primary caregiver of my children, and I am home with them during the week while my wife works a steady, full-time job. See qualifications and references below, then try to call me a babysitter again.

Qualification Summary:

I have almost 5 years of experience in raising my own two children. I can change any kind of diaper with lightening fast speed, and Marine sniper precision. I can recognize the different cries my children have, and use this knowledge to decide what the appropriate response is. I have experience in entertainment of children in settings such as the doctor, the dentist, or any public place that a child may feel uncomfortable. I am also a stern disciplinarian.

Special Skills:

Diaper changing, dish washing, laundry maintenance, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, shelf dusting, furniture rearranging, meal cooking, more dish washing, bath and bed routine, sick day hero, fighter or boogies and spooks in the closet and outside, wiping noses, wiping butts, feeding stubborn children, trip packing and planning, in-car entertainer, singer of ridiculous songs for sanity purposes.

Education:

Bachelor of Science in Cleaning: from My Mamma's Teachings (1983-present)

Associate of Arts in Children's Music Compromise: from years of Barney and Yo Gabba Gabba

Master of Science in Reverse Children Psychology: from raising two hard headed toddlers

Work Experience:

- Dad: In My Own House (2007-Present)

I have been the dad in my house for almost 5 years. My first child was born in May of 2007, followed by the birth of his sister in May of 2009. Since the first meconium diaper off my son, to the last time I changed my daughters, I have been involved in all aspects of my children's lives. I have detailed experience with formula preparation and feeding, bottle choosing, burping, rocking to sleep, reading bedtime stories, singing lullabies, horseplay, and boo-boo fixing.

I knew this was a great career choice for me the first time I held both of my children. They are my passion, my life, and my purpose. I can think of nothing greater than being a part of my children's lives, until the day I die. It's a life calling and a life choice.

References: Ask my kids, ask my friends, ask my family, ask my neighbors.

Android App Battle: Blogger vs Wordpress

2012-02-29T14:46:00.000-05:00

In the left corner, coming in at 3,901 downloads from the Android Market*... Blogger made by Google, Inc!

In the right corner, coming in at an impressive 11,406 downloads from the Android Market*... Wordpress by Automattic, Inc!!

Device Details: I tested these apps for the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 from T-Mobile. The device operates on the Android 3.1 (Honeycomb) operating system.

I have had the pleasure of getting a hands on experience with the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 from T-Mobile. Over the last few weeks I have been putting this device to the test to see if I can use it for everything I want. From social media managing, to blog writing and editing, to games and educational apps with the kids. I've been putting it through the ringer.

Today, I wanted to offer up a comparison review of the apps available for the two biggest blogging platforms, Blogger and Wordpress. I write for blogs on both platforms, so of course, they were two of the first apps I even downloaded when I first got the device. The Galaxy is the first Android based device that I have ever used. So without further delay, I bring you Blogger versus Wordpress, the Android App Review.

Blogger
Obviously, this blog is hosted on Blogger. I choose this platform because it is simple for the most part. Aside from the back end functions of the site, Blogger is very user friendly and simple. So of course, I downloaded the Blogger app from Google. Inc as soon as I started setting up the tablet. I was excited because iOS doesn't offer a good app for publishing to Blogger. Surely with Google's name attached, the combination of both Android power and a Google, Inc app would be something awesome.

I was wrong. While the Blogger app is simple and straight to the point when it comes to creating a text-only blog post and publishing it, that is about all it is good for. Unless you are an HTML guru, which I am not, this app leaves the blogger severely limited with functionality. No statistics abilities, no page editing abilities, comment moderation, dashboard, nothing. You are stuck with only the ability to write a post and view your blog. That's it.

While it could be of value if you just want to jot down notes for a specific post, it is simply not that functional. For me, I am seeking apps and software that will allow me to turn my Samsung Galaxy 10.1 into the only device I need for blogging and social media management. Google, Inc seriously missed the mark. There is a lot of room for improvement before this app is ready for serious bloggers using the Blogger platform.

Wordpress
Wordpress is known for being on point, useful, user friendly, and highly functional as a blogging platform. The peeps from Automattic, Inc are just as on point with their Wordpress app for Android. I have used the same app they have developed for iOS on the iPhone 4 and iPod touch 3rd generation, and they don't even come close to the power of Wordpress for Android.

The Wordpress app from Automattic, Inc is a brilliantly designed app. That app has amazing, easy to use features for posting, the ability to add video and pictures by recording them on the spot, statistics, comment moderation, page edit functions, and a way to view your full Wordpress dashboard from within the app. Just about everything you could need to be able to keep your blog running when you are not on the web. Of course, being able to view the dashboard in the app itself, there are very few things that you couldn't do with it.

Posting on other sites that use the Wordpress platform became a lot easier with the portability of the tablet combined with this powerful app from Automattic, Inc. Sorry Google, Inc, but you have quite a bit of catching up to do if you really want to compete for blog platform bragging rights. Perhaps the guys from Automattic, Inc could give you a few pointers.

The Winner
By and far, The Dude gives two thumbs up for the winner of the first Android App Battle, Wordpress from Automattic, Inc. This team has done a remarkable job of making the web's top blogging platform perfectly accessible from Android operating system. I highly recommend it for those who want to add the power of Wordpress to the palms of their hands. It just can't be beat.

The next Android App Battle will take place next week. Stay tuned when I pit Tweetdeck, Hootsuite, and the official Twitter Android app against each other in a three way match from Twitter supremacy!

The Dude Abides

*Download statistics provided within the Android Market and were current as of the writing of this post.

**Disclosure: I received a Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 from T-Mobile, with the help of Big Fuel, for a hands on look at this device and to facilitate my reviews of the device and how I use it, including the apps and their abilities. All opinions, good or bad, contained within these reviews are totally and completely mine, and do not reflect the opinions of Samsung, T-Mobile, or Big Fuel.**

Life Out Loud and Online: Think, Shout, Write

2012-02-28T08:41:00.000-05:00

Not to sound repetitive... Okay, this is completely repetitive, but I'm going to be that way anyway. For me, writing is therapy. There is something to be gained from being able to see my emotions in black and white in front of me. There are times I will sit down to write, and look only at the keyboard while I compose a post or creative piece. Only when I am finished thinking to the keyboard do I look up and see what it is I have written. Without critiquing myself, or judging myself in the process, I can tap out everything I think and feel, then look up, and really take a look at myself.

It is also very healing and uplifting to be able to come to the blog, and write about things that I just cannot seem to spit out at any other time, or during any other discussion. There are those things that I think, that I feel, that I just have no way to overcome the hurdle that prevents me from just shouting it out, or saying it when I want to. When this is the case, I fire up the laptop, I open up a new post, and I type at breakneck speeds to try to keep up with my thoughts. This is usually how most of my creative pieces or more personal pieces are created.

All that being said, let me also say this: It's not always so easy to put things out there like that. Once it is there, it is there. Once you say something in front of the world, you can no longer run from it. The only option is to face it, and make your move. This is a topic for many bloggers when the question of what you should and should not post online is brought up. And I have been on both sides of the argument and have posted things in the past that maybe I shouldn't. I have since learned, and now I have a new use for not holding back on certain things.

*Accountability and Friendship*

Being open online leaves you open to a wide range of criticism and in some cases, anger or hatred. When you hit the publish button, when you click the Tweet button, or whatever button it is you choose, that's it. There is no taking it back.Yes you can delete something, but there is always a record held somewhere online. When the words are of hatred, anger, or damaging to someone else's person, this is not a good thing. It can be a dangerous area to tread in.

This knowledge can also be a powerful tool for us personally. Online relationships can be very powerful allies. In fact, I met my wife online in a Yahoo! chat room back in 2005. There are many people I have met online that I will probably never meet in real life. But I do not hesitate to call them friends. These are people that have reached out to me beyond a simple tweet or Facebook message. They have picked up their phones and given me a ring, they have sent me actual mail, or have taken the time to simply listen to me ramble on about my problems. Through what I choose to share online, people can get to know who I really am in a way they wouldn't otherwise. This also creates accountability in that these same people will continuously keep contact with me, see how things are going, and offer support when it is needed.

*Freedom and Enlightenment*

Writing is free. Writing is powerful. Words are magic. Words are tragic. There are times when the block in my mind prevents me from saying what I should be saying, when I should be saying it. There is the block that tells me "You're okay" when I am truly not, and keeps me from facing the things I need to, and seeking the guidance and wisdom I need. But then there are the times where I sit down without a block, without hesitance, and I just write. I think, I write, I even speak it out loud to myself while I write. I have even gone as far as stopping what I am doing, grabbing a pillow, and just screaming at the top of my lungs into it.

There are times when, in the middle of typing, I will just stop, because there is no reason to write anymore. I could not count the posts and pieces that I have trashed just because of the realizations and enlightenment that have come to me in the course of writing it all out. There comes that point, during, or after posting, that while I read what I have written and read the responses and reactions, I see what it is I needed to. I hear what it is I have been trying to tell myself, or tell others. Armed with these new thoughts, I face what I need to face, and progress is born.

I think the idea of "letting it out" has completely lost its meaning in this age. Emotion is not considered real enough, feelings are not real enough to be hurt, and people are just not real enough with each other to seem to matter. What if the world would learn to live out loud? What if people decided that emotion, feeling, and others, are indeed, real enough to matter? What if the world found out that in reality, we are never as alone as we think, we are never as far apart as we think, and we are not as different as we think?

I live now on a theory that thinking out loud, whether talking it, or writing it, living out loud, cannot be as harmful as the world makes it seem. I live on the theory that there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being okay, and being able to admit it. The world is out there. The world we want does exist. It exists in other people who think like us, feel like us, and know what we know. That importance to the online world, is an importance that should not be forgotten, and never be taken for granted.

Initial Product Review: Samsung Galaxy 10.1 Tab from T-Mobile

2012-02-27T10:46:00.000-05:00

The Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 from T-Mobile (box)

For me, the epitome of geekiness has always been to own a tablet. I have never owned a smart phone, I have never owned a Blu-Ray player, and the vehicles I own are never less than seven years old. I make do with the technology available to me, and it does enough to ease my nerdy cravings.

But a geek can dream too right? I had set my eyes on a Samsung Galaxy Tab for a while. So out of pure nerdness and lack of better things to do, I started sending tweets out about why I want one, and what I would do with it.

A month later, the picture above shows the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 from T-Mobile sitting on my counter, waiting to be opened. I had died and gone to geek heaven. So the question then remained before me: Will this thing live up to they hype I gave it in my mind, and more so, would I be able to use it for everything I do online, making it my only needed piece of technological equipment.

Now you are asking "Well Dude, did it?!?!" and here is your answer:

Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 Tablet Lock Screen

Product Specs

Height: 10.1 inches
Width: 6.9 inches
Depth: 0.34 inches
Weight: 19.8 oz

Operating System: Android "Honeycomb"
Processor: 1 GHz nVidia Tegra 2 dual-core mobile
Mobile Data Provider: T-Mobile

Wi-Fi and 3G Capable (4G where available)

Bluetooth

Rear-facing 3-megapixel auto-focus camera with LED flash

Front-facing 2-megapixel camera

The Dude's Opinion
:) = Good
:( = Bad

:) - The auto-adjust feature for the display brightness saves battery power, and rarely (to me) seemed to adjust too far out of line. This in itself, makes it easier on the eyes than a standard laptop.

:) - The multi-task menu, accessible from the bottom of the display, brings up recently used or currently used applications, making switching between multiple tasks a breeze. For someone like me who always has various social-media applications running simultaneously, this was a major plus.

:) - Runs most common apps available from the Android Market whether it is designated as a "tablet" app, or not. Apps such as the official Twitter app, Facebook for Android, Blogger (from Google), and standard social media and web apps, run quite smoothly.

:) - Wi-Fi connectivity is quick and picks up a great signal within my house. I use a basic Belkin router located downstairs in my home. Between walls, out to my car in the parking lot, and upstairs , it never drops the strong signal. I have not, however, actually tested the distance from my house it picks up, nor have I tested the mobile data network. A post about mobile capabilities will be up in the next few weeks.

:( - Right after booting and after using applications that require a lot of memory, the tablet lags a bit, or will sometimes freeze for a period before returning to a normal operating status. This mainly occurs when rotating the display from vertical to horizontal or vice versa.

:( - The sizes of the two standard touch-screen keyboards leave a little something to be desired. I would ike to see a little more display room taken up to accommodate a little more space for the keys, especially when viewing the tablet vertically. I would not imagine it very rational at all for people with larger fingers to decide to use either keyboard in vertical view.

:( - The inability to uninstall standard apps as they come with the tablet upon arrival. I know this is standard for a lot of operating systems on a variety of devices. However, without expandable memory, such as an SD card slot, the ability to free up as much room as possible is somewhat limited by this. Unless you plan on going through the operating system itself, and I don't have that know-how, then you are stuck with apps that you may rarely use.

:( - No expandable memory available. Just like the iPad, the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 from T-Mobile does not support expandable memory such as an SD card slot. This can really be a good or bad thing depending on what you intend to use this device for primarily. If you are like me, and primarily using it for web based applications and usage, then the amount of storage space is sufficient. Most common apps do not take a up a of space, rather, they get most of their information from the web. If you are looking for a media device for music,movies, and so on, then the space could be taken up rather quickly.

Final Summation

I have been using this device for a little over two weeks now. Aside from the frowny face mentions above, and my general misunderstanding of the Android operating system, my experience with the Samsung Galaxy 10.1 from T-Mobile has been a positive one. I have used it to write posts, check on and interact with my various social media streams, and on the family side of it, entertain the children, and have movie time with the wife. I use the tablet daily and for much of the day. From news, to weather, to email, to video conferencing, there has been nothing I haven't figured out how to do with it. It has been a great experience and I look forward to diving in farther.

Now, over the next few weeks I will be reviewing different applications and uses associated with the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 from T-Mobile. I will be taking a look at social media apps and uses, as well as how functional the device is with educational and entertainment purposes with the kids. If there is anything you would like for me to review or explore, feel free to email me at thedaddyyodude [at] gmail [dot] com and I will do my best to check these things out for you.

*Disclosure: Thanks to the wonderful folks at T-Mobile, and with the help of Big Fuel, I have been given the chance to get a hands on, in-depth look at the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 from T-Mobile. They have sent me a tablet to facilitate my review. However, all opinions expressed in this review are truly my own. I have NOT been compensated to provide positive feedback.*

Winning Back My Kids

2012-02-26T19:17:00.004-05:00

I make no secret that there have been struggles in my life recently. I write about them and share them for many reasons. For one, it is therapeutic for me to write. There is great release in seeing feelings and emotion in black and white on the screen in front of me. It is also great to see the words of advice, encouragement, support, and understanding from my readers. I have said it here before, but 99.9% of the time, you find out that you are never as alone as you think.

I have had to face many truths about myself in recent weeks, many struggles, and I have started to put the pieces back together, and move forward. The thing about battles in life is that they are mostly uphill. I take on these new trials with the assumption that there are going to be hurdles to jump along the way. This wee, I shift my focus to the next hurdle ahead of me: winning back my kids.

Toddlers are smart beings. They have a great sense of knowing when things are wrong. They an also puck up well on the actions and reactions of others. That means if there are problems in the house, it's going to affect the kids. And that is where I stand now. By judging my actions and reactions, my kids have grown to be hesitant to accept affection, and scared to face punishment.

Now I am in the fight to win back my kids. To replace anger with resolve, to replace hurt feelings with love, and to replace the me that they have seen in more recent times. My children know that daddy loves them. But that doesn't mean that they happily accept who I am. They love daddy, but they have a certain distance that they prefer to keep. I am in pain from this. My heart is heavy, burdened, and broken.

I knew when I first became a dad that I was not always going to be my kids' best friend. I knew that there would be times that I would have to be "The Bad Guy". But never would I have thought that I would become an enemy to my children. Never would I gave thought that I would have to fight to regain the trust and love of my children. This was just never something that ever crossed my mind.

My children have seen a side of me that they never should have. Even without having to say a word, they knew that something wasn't quite right. Now, as the road to progress lies before me, it becomes an important goal for my kids to know that these things were temporary. It becomes ever important that I show that these things were temporary and that progress, understanding, and happiness, are all goals that I will strive my hardest for. And hopefully, as the days and weeks move along, my children will see and sense this.

Out of all of it, I hope that this will teach us all about the importance of learning through failire. I know that right now, they don't understand it all. But one day, they will face similar struggles and trials. How I learn and deal now will directly influence the direction and advice I give them in the future. So what weighs on my mind now? How do I live the change, how do I show the progress, and how do I become the dad that they had before?

I don't have all of the answers. In fact, I don't have any of the answers. That's what life is about though, right? We live, we make mistakes, we learn, and we grow. And hopefully, maybe, just possibly, this time around I will make the right decisions. Through this, I will learn, I will show, and I will know. As for my kids? I guess they are waiting on me to do the same thing. They will be here, waiting, for me to learn, to grow, and to show.

Unseen Friends: Klout Cannot Measure it All

2012-02-24T12:30:00.000-05:00

There are millions of faces in the social media world. Millions of profile photos. You can literally spend all day nothing at nothing but profile pictures on various social media platforms, and you would only begin to scratch the surface of the volume of people online. What is awesome about this is that you can look at millions of faces from all over the world, all in one place. We talk to people all over the world on a daily basis online, and rarely does the true magnitude of this dance on the brain of the social media users.

I can personally vouch for the magnitude of what social media enables us to do. We have watched it start revolutions, we have watched it carry the biggest news in real time. Have we paid attention enough to what it does for us in our own lives? Have we really sat and thought about how far reaching away from the electronic devices social media can be? I have. And let me tell you, it is something magical.

I have written many times on this blog about the struggles in my life. Addiction, marriage, manhood, parenting, and more. I do not tend to shy away too much on here because I feel free when I write. I know I can share as little or as much as I want. And I also know that people all over the world are reading these words, and the possibility exists that even just one person will identify with what I write.

In times of real need, I have witnessed people I have never met face to face, pick up their phone, call mine, and check in to see if I am okay. That happened to me this week in fact. On more than a few occasions, I have had many personal, and profound conversations with people all over the world. And I have never met any of them face to face. Outside of immediate family and friends, nobody who reads my tweets has ever been close enough to even shake my hand.

Do I regret this? No. I do not. Physical location cannot put boundaries on love and friendship. It cannot contain the caring feelings we have for those in need, for those who need an ear to lay it out to, or to those with whom we sympathize. This is a beautiful thing. It is beautiful to know that the capability for human beings to love one another is possible. It is a beautiful thing to know that this love can be shown, in real time, between really long distances. It is a beautiful thing to have never met someone, and still know them as a friend.

Today, I want to reach out my virtual arms to all of you. My unseen friends. Those I have never sat down for coffee with, those I have never shaken hands with or hugged, those that I may never lay eyes on outside of your profile pictures. I want to say thank you. I want you to know that your friendship, kindness, and love, has not gone out unnoticed. You are special. You are appreciated.

So thank you to those who have taken the time to message, the time to email, and the time to call. In times where meeting friends face to face were not possible, you have been there. Without asking, without waiting, you have been there. I could never repay you all for the support and the love you have shown for me.

May you be blessed in riches of the heart. May your cup overflow with joy and peace. May you always find yourselves in the arms of life, as life has blessed you with the gifts of bringing joy and love to others.

From the bottom of my heart,

The Dude Abides

I'm So Lame

2012-02-23T13:54:00.000-05:00

"So rage, please rage, against me. Beat me down. Beat me down. Forgive me, for what I've done. I'm so lame. I'm so lame. I'm so lame." - "Lame" by Seven Mary Three (More on this song during Music Monday next week)

I am so riddled with guilt, with shame, and self-hatred today. I'm not going into detail here, but let's just say that I crumbled, I fell, and I littered others' lives with debris in the process. I mean, I screwed up a lot of things in a lot of ways in the last few days. And as the morning came about, and the gravity of it all began to take effect, and what I was left with was emptiness and rage.

I have been a fool. I have been unwise. I have been lame. I have caused harm to people I do not wish to ever harm. This morning, I have cried more than I have ever cried in one morning. While washing dishes, while vacuuming, randomly while smoking a cigarette. I have barely eaten in 24 hours, and at some point I am pretty sure that I was the closest to a heart attack I have ever been. The last two days have just been... well... Lame.

How did I end up in this condition? The hell if I know. There are too many steps and too many directions to backtrack and figure all of it out. Maybe at some point I just lost my mind and my ability to focus on what is real. Maybe I have been too busy searching for a reality that doesn't really exist. In this, I have lost sight of the reality that is me and my life, and what is in my life.

This morning, I begged whatever God is listening to little lame me, to forgive me. To blame me. To rage against me for what has happened. Maybe I wouldn't have been able to see it coming, but then again, maybe I could have avoided it all. Who knows? And at this point, who the hell really cares?

I was told by a wise friend that everyone deserves happiness, deserves joy, and deserves love in return for the love that they give. But with this, you have to fight. You have to fight for your happiness with all that you have. There will always be enemies of our content and joy. There will always be obstacles and skirmishes along the way. And most importantly, the battle can never be won. It will be fought, but there will never be a winner.

Right now, I am not happy. There can be no progress in failure. There can only be progress after failure. There will be a fight to fight, a battle line to draw. The troops were pushed back the last couple of days and suffered some pretty heavy casualties. But they are regrouping, they are recharging, and they are getting ready to storm the hill again. Mind, body, soul, and all.

It starts with reality. The reality of today: I am so lame. I have realized that life will never judge me. I will, however, judge life to the fullest. I have judged my life to a point that I have created the problems that I have. We call this poor judgement. I will present the argument, and lose. I will call the witnesses, and I will lose. Because I am, in no absolute way, in the shoes to be judging anything of my life. Nothing, but myself.

So from here, I rebuild. From this point on, pain, unhappiness, selfishness, anger, hatred, and general bullshit, have no place in my life. From this point, I create the reality instead of look to the outside. At this instant, I decide to take determination to heart and fight. Fight for love, fight for joy, fight for peace, and fight for understanding. The battle has only just begun, and I am calling in the big guns this time. It's time to start saying "I Love Me" and stop saying and knowing what I know this morning of myself.

I'm so lame.

The Cafe Clock

2012-02-22T22:25:00.000-05:00

Photo by The DaddyYo Dude

Thirty-four minutes after the hour of nine. The cafe clock seems lively this morning. Strange, it seems, for a clock that has started time. As I stare at the lights reflecting off of the face, wonder where the day will lead me. The scent of my coffee brings a begging message that it was time to arise from my seat, and start the day.

The burn of the morning sun tears at my eyes as I squint against the glare from the surrounding cars. In the parking lot, the sounds of the busy morning streets fill my ears. I symphony of its own kind that greets me each morning as we all scurry off to our little corners of our little lives.

Rushing down the sidewalk, I am swept away by the sea of faces. Everyone running, everyone with somewhere to be. Everyone had appointments, meetings, weddings, funerals, and all of the other tasks that occupy our time in life. The waves of people crashing over the curbs and subway stairs, like ants converging on a piece of dropped cotton candy.

Through the day the clock just winds its hands as we grind away at life. Turning faster and faster and faster, the seconds turn to minutes, the minutes to hours, and a few of those later the sea begins to churn again. The bustle of the sidewalks carries a little less urgency as the tired commuters backtrack their previous steps, and return from which they came.

Myself, I return to the cafe as I always do. It's time for an evening coffee, and the chance to sit, relax, unwind, and just be. I look to the clock above my shoulder. Thirty-four minutes after the hour of nine. The cafe clock looks lively tonight. Strange, it seems, for a clock that has just stopped time.

The Only That I Knew

2012-02-22T14:45:00.000-05:00

I sat and pondered long ago, while watching lightly falling snow.
And as it lay its blanket on the ground,
In the beautiful silence, solace I found.

I sought shelter under a large pine tree.
It's barren branches forming a porous canopy.
The beams of sun that broke through the limbs,
Dance on the snow, at their very whim.

Alone and cold, I shout in labored lament.
Why , my God? Why? This deathly advent.
Hast thou hatred for the creation of your own?
Or have I burdens to which I atone?

The field becomes lost in a sea of crystalline powder.
I become at peace with the scenery, that will set my final hour.
Under that tree, the sun, and the snow,
I pen my final testament.
This letter to friend and foe.

Imperfection I know dearly.
Through the glass, I can see clearly.
Through the dust that rises in beams of light
Take these words.
Make them fly.

My love, my heart, have known nothing aside.
In you my soul took refuge. In myself, does it ever hide.
As the snow lays down its blanket, in beautiful silence, solace I find.
As I close my eyes, one final time, to the world, these words I confide.

The heart knows know other way than the heart.
Just as the swallow knows no other way to sing.
In life we did trust, until death do us part.
I hear the funeral bells begin to ring.

The soul seeks dwelling in a place of peace.
The mind seeks peace in the place it dwells.
I would never give you betrayal. Tis the devil's disease.
Love without love, dwells in the halls of hell.

Silent my cry now, as the mourners march past.
The face of the fallen, shown through rusted frames and glass.
Under the pine tree, the snow, and the sun.
I ended back here.
Where I had begun.

I sat and pondered long ago, while watching lightly falling snow.
I never knew, I had never done.
I have seen it now.
And now I know.

Trust not your tears to mourn for me.
Trust them to mourn, for love, for thee.
The flowers that grow by my grave grow for you.
Beautiful with my love.
The only that I knew.

Geek Dreams Do Come True

2012-02-21T13:35:00.000-05:00

Let's start this story back a few months ago. A laptop is meant to be portable. To take on the go, or just over to our favorite couch or chair. It is made to lay in one's lap to serve as a comfortable alternative to sitting at a desk when computing needs arise. However, my laptop did not fit this description in the least.

On a computer desk it sat. Tethered to an external monitor because the screen was damaged, and using a chill pad because the fan was not turning fast enough to provide proper cooling. "This is cool, I can deal with this. At least I have a computer. Kind of important to have being a blogger and all.". That was the mindset for weeks, and after a while I got very used to it, and still had all the functionality I needed. A hard drive change forced me to start using Ubuntu Linux instead of windows, but it took no time to get used to the change, and even love the change.

Now enter in to the scene an iced coffee that met an unfortunate end at the right elbow of my brother in law. Determined not to go down without some dignity, the iced coffee splashed itself with intensity as it hit the computer desk. Sloshing its hardest, it flung itself to the keyboard of that poor laptop and bled out in between the keys. A few minutes later, the long toned "beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep" let me know that things were getting critical.

Fast forward to the present. After delicate surgery, and a few more external parts, I still had a laptop, that pretty much existed to provide electrical power to the external parts that ran from it. Still, it was a working computer device that resembled an extremely ancient Transformer. At this point, I have been looking at tablets online, and trying to plan what I would get with tax return money. Being the fan of shameless self promotion I am, I started tweeting things like "Wow I could totally use a Samsung Galaxy right now" and "I would love to get my hands on a Samsung Galaxy Tablet and really put it to the test for what I do online and education/entertainment for the kids".

This past Friday, one of my geekiest dreams came true, and a Samsung Galaxy 10.1 Tablet from T-Mobile arrived at my front door. After a month of tweeting and emailing, I was at one with my own nerdiness and my quest for a great piece of "new technology" was over. You have to realize, that this is the most advanced piece of technology I have ever held in my hands. I have never owned a smartphone, never owned a tablet, and I have never owned a car that was newer than 6 years old. Needless to say, I could have died right there with that FedEx package in my hands.

Thanks to the help of T-Mobile and Big Fuel, I have the opportunity of my nerdy lifetime to get a hands on, close-up, and in depth chance to play around with the Samsung Galaxy 10.1 Tablet. Over the next few weeks I will be reviewing basic functions and my reactions, as well as apps, and processes I use on a daily bases with the tablet. From blogging, to entertaining and educating the kids, I will be covering it all. Want to know something specific about it that I can test out? Let me know and I will try my best to do so and write about it!

*Disclosure Statement: T-Mobile and Big Fuel have provided me with a Samsung Galaxy 10.1 Tablet to facilitate this review. I will be posting several different posts over the next few weeks detailing my experience with the use of this product. All posts will be disclosed in this manner. It is important to note that ALL OPINIONS provided within these reviews are 100% mine, and they will always be 100% honest.*

Literature, Life, and Love

2012-02-21T12:36:00.000-05:00

I have said it many many times before, and I am going to say it again: Writing is great therapy. To sit down at the computer, or hit the couch with good old fashioned pencil and paper, is always guaranteed to be an uplifting experience for me. Be it tragic and sad, funny and gut busting, or creative and free, there is always much to be gained from a good writing session.

Yesterday I had a conversation about the power of the written word. About how words get their magic and meaning, and how even the simplest of lines can have the greatest of meanings.for almost a week, I hit a writing funk that I didn't think I would make it out of so soon. I was unmotivated, exhausted, and lost. So for a week, I took the time to enjoy the written word in a way it seems I don't often enough enjoy. I read. And I read A LOT.

One thing a lot of people don't know about me is that I am a poetry fan. Two favorite poets right off the top of my list are Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and Robert Frost. I consider them two of the top literary geniuses of all time. Their works project the essence and beauty that is the magic of the written word. The use of descriptive lines has the power to transform you to another place and time. It is a magic I have not lost myself in for quite some time. So I read. Whitman to Frost, Longfellow to Naruda, I read.

In a later conversation in the day I discussed with a friend of mine where the meaning behind words comes from. In the setting of literature and poetry, who truly defines the meaning of words and literary pieces of art? The only person who can truly know the written meaning of a piece is the author. The author doesn't write without a certain meaning or feeling behind the piece. But is that to say that it is set in stone what it should mean to others? Is it possible that we would not have the capacity to understand a written piece's intended meaning upon penning? In the perspective of life and love, who determines meaning?

That is the beauty, the power, and the magic of words. They can mean anything. They can mean nothing. They can mean everything. It is all about perspective. For me, I found hope, I found love, I found laughter. I found sadness, I found despair, I found trial. I saw myself in the artists words, and through this, I saw myself for who and what I am. There is no greater magic and beauty and truth. The power of the written word is the power of all that is essential to being. Life, Love, Self, and Knowledge.

Snowy Morning Walk

2012-02-20T10:58:00.001-05:00

The trees have been painted and the ground looks like it has been dusted with diamonds. The sun wakes from a cold slumber, peaking over the glistening mountains. Oh how the heavens sing as the snow melts into droplets, that awaken the rivers that flow next to the path.

I walk along with the snow crunching beneath my feet, and the sound of running water playing a melodious symphony in my ears.

What grace and splendor it is to be here in this moment. The sounds of the world are drowned out by the sounds of all that is pure. All that is right. My cheeks sting as the crisp wind graces them with her morning touch. My heart is warmed by the sights and sounds that play out before me. I escape with the clouds as they are burned off by the rising sun, and I run with the water that rushes down the hillside.

I take rest down by the river's edge, and run my fingers through the bitter cold waters that flow so effortlessly by. I feel its vibrancy, its passion, and its excitement. I fill my cup so that I may sip this life on my journey home. As I thirst from the walk that buries my feet, I drink to remember the majesty of just simply being.

Pressing onward on my trek, the sun reaches over the mountains and warms my face. Through the thinning snow I can see blades of grass as they appear from under the crystal white blanket. Showing me the pathway that will take me back to my front porch. I greet the wooden chair with weary legs. The snow melts off of the rooftop and the sun presses higher in the air.

The day will waste away before my eyes. The activities of the day, the sights and smells, sounds and touches, will drown out all I had witnessed through the dawn. I pondered if I would return to that place again this winter, and doubted doubly that I should. But the feelings of that morning walk shall stay emblazoned on my soul. A photograph in the archives of memory, to which I smile, I remember, and I cherish, the beauty of life, that is all to often lost.

The Ink that Bleeds

2012-02-17T11:47:00.001-05:00

With a trembling hand, I put the ink to the paper. My mind races as I search for the right words to express a soul that cannot speak aloud. If actions really do speak louder then words, then in silence, I will pen my confessions.

My heart is heavy and burdened. Slowly dying as it seeks out the truth about love and happiness. How it longs for those things that make a heart complete. How it winces in pain when those things are not to be found. My heart is lost. Knowing not how to show those things which it hides, the heart screams a silent cry for help and understanding.

My mind is tattered and torn. A brain trying to explain a heart that does not understand itself. My thoughts race around at a breakneck pace. With such agility and quickness, that grasping one to examine it fully has become too great of a challenge. These thoughts echo static in my mind. Deafening me to anything rational and sane.

The man staring back from the mirror is not the man I once knew. His eyes are empty, black, and jaded. His blank stare haunts me with a feeling of bitterness. The lines and wrinkles on leathery skin tell of battles and the scars speak of enemies from the past. Anger, disappointment and rage bleed from every pore.

How I long for peace and understanding. How I ache to feel love as I once did. How I yearn to feel true happiness, true contentment, and express true joy. The tears run down my cheeks and fall like soft rain drops on the paper before me. The ink starts to bleed as my heart bleeds through my mind, down to my hand, as I write these words.

Some day in the future I will unfold these pages. The stains will be dried, my scars will be healed, and these words will be but a memory. Some day in the future these will be the words of the past and the man in the mirror will be smiling back at me. For now, I crumple the paper under the weight of a heavy heart and mind. The ink that bleeds runs through the folds, and I nod in agreement.

Bottles and Masks: This Ain't No Mardi Gras

2012-02-16T12:12:00.000-05:00

As an addict, and a person who has struggled off and on with depression, there are a few things I became very good at. Two of those things are bottling up my emotions, and trying to hide them away from myself, and putting on a mask in front of others so I can hide the fact that things may not be quite right. The only problem with this is that they are not things to be good at. They are not skills to boast about. In fact, they are unhealthy and damaging traits to possess.

In the last few weeks I have been on a self-searching quest. Trying to define the areas of my life that I want to change, the things in my life I could do without, and those things in life that I could not do without. I can say that I have learned a lot about myself. This would be a true statement. A lot of what I have learned, though, has left my brain in tatters at times and has had my heart shaken to its core. Reason for this? A lot of what I have learned has been those obstacles and observations that can be hard to swallow.

In being one of the best at not being able to process and handle emotion so easily, I once again broke out the bottles, broke out the masks, and put on my party face. But I am here to tell you, this ain't no Mardis Gras. It's an exhausting and draining way to live. So much so, that I haven't even written anything in the last 6 days. Those of you who read on a regular basis know that it is very unlike me to not post for that long. It has drained my motivation, drained my mind, and drained my soul.

So why do I share this?

Because I think it is important for men to know that the hiding our feelings, putting on masks, and bottling up our emotions is not healthy. There seems to be a damaging misconception that men should be tough, should hide such things, and just keep pressing on. The truth of all of that is that there is nothing okay about it. Saying that doing these things is "manly" is saying that slowly destroying yourself , putting yourself in an isolated state, and not properly dealing with things is "manly". Let me straight up tell you, there is nothing manly about it.

I can't give you the secrets and tips on how to be better at dealing with emotions and reaching out when you feel down. I'm not that great at it so I'm not going to sit here and pretend I have the answers. In the words of Jay from the movie "Dogma": "Me? Lead you?! Look at me! I don't even know where I am at half the time!". What I am here to do is encourage men to not be afraid to reach out, not be afraid to wear those emotions on their sleeves, and to support each other when it is needed.

Without the helpful ears of good friends and loving family, I don't know what I would do. The hardest part was just admitting that things weren't okay and that I needed to get some of these bottles emptied. Last night, I was able to do just that. And for the first time in a while, I had myself a good healthy cry. Guess what? I didn't lose my manhood by doing so. You can revoke my man card if you desire, but you can't revoke how much better I feel today.

Fellas, don't let the world tell you that it's not okay to be sensitive. Don't let the world sell you short of your own self. We owe it to ourselves, our friends, our family, and our world, to show the world we are nothing more than human. When the time comes that you need someone to lend an ear, that you need some guidance, or even, possibly, need professional care, don't hit the snooze button. Wealthy is a man who can be content with who he is when he is by himself. Poor is a man who isolates himself in a tower of bottles and masks. Sure it looks like a party, but it is the most lonely party you will ever throw for yourself.

The Dude's Five Truths of Life

2012-02-10T13:19:00.000-05:00

It often seems that we spend a lot of our lives trying to figure out the truth about life itself. We seek out what is real, what is meaningful, and what we believe in. We seek it through faith, through anger, through love, and through desperation. The search for truth can be enlightening, and at the same time, the search has the power to destroy us and bring us down. Honestly, I don't know if we should know the truth about life. Life will end at some point. Yet, we seek this truth daily.

Throughout my life I have spent a lot of time searching for the truth myself. Whether looking for spiritual truth, the truth about why things happen, or whether I was seeking truth in a destructive manner, I have spent a great deal of time searching. Today, I have pondered on my past searches an started really digging to see what truths I have discovered in my life so far. So today, I am here to share with you the five truths I have learned about life so far.

Real love is limitless - Love, real love, is a limitless power. Throughout my life, I have done many things to hurt many people. My family, my friends, myself. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that real love, the love these people have showed me despite my flaws, knows no limits. Not that everything was immediately forgiven, but the fact I was forgiven at all shows this. Despite my shortcomings, these friends and family have continuously came to my corner to fight for me. Even after I failed them, their real love, their pure hearts, still show the love that drives me to be better, step by step.

Time is not on our side - You are never guaranteed your next breath. People who run around saying "I have nothing but time" never realize how far from wrong they really are. Knowing this, it is important to make the best use of the time we have. Not to accomplish things for ourselves, but to impact the world and people around us. I ask people all the time "What if the last thing you said to someone was the last words you would ever speak?" It's possible. Time is fleeting and time is against us.

Faces come and go. Memories find their place on the wall - I have seen many people come and go throughout my life. Some of them moved away, some of them have passed on, and some of them, well, I really don't even know. These faces come and go, and sometimes we just let them slip on. But the true friends, they created memories, and are much more than just a face. These memories find their way to being hung up on the walls of my mind. In this way, while I may not have a picture of a face, I have a picture of someone's life. That picture telling exactly what they meant to me. In this way, they live with me forever.

Faith in anything, is faith to carry on - Sometimes it can be hard to believe in yourself. Though others may believe in you, the faith you have in yourself might be limited. But it doesn't have to take faith in yourself to carry on. Finding faith in others, faith in God, faith in anything that makes you stronger, turns to finding the faith to carry on. You don't have to believe in you, but if you believe in anything that is worth more, you find the strength you need to pick yourself up and move on.

You are never as alone as you think - I have actually written a whole post about this before so I'm not going to go into too much detail here. The point is this though: No matter what you have been through, or may be currently going through, there have been those who have gone through before. There are those who are struggling with you. No matter how alone you may feel, how much it seems like it only happens to you, you are never as alone as you think. Sometimes, you just have to reach out. Someone will always be there to reach their hand back out to you, and guide you.

DADS: TV For... Someone Else

2012-02-07T08:26:00.000-05:00

Let me go ahead and apologize if any of my readers have anything to do with this trailer or the show. But now that I have said that, let me not apologize for finding the trailer so unappealing that I have vowed (before ever watching a single episode) that I will never, ever, EVER, watch this show. Let's roll the trailer:

I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet, but I can't promise anything. There is no secret to the fact that fart, sex, and masturbation jokes sell anything on TV these days. "Comedy" is always a hot ticket item to success as long as those three are included in there somewhere. But the name of the show is "DADS" and is supposed to be showing the lives of three dads out of Brooklyn.

Number One: Only a few short seconds of the trailer show the guys with their kids or wives or whoever. The rest is just the guys. How can a trailer for a show called "DADS" grab my interest when all it is showing is a bunch of horny, immature guys goofing off all day?

Number Two: When reading the description for the video, I discovered the last line that says the show "aims to take the world of fatherhood to a whole another level of stupidity". Maybe this is just my honest opinion, but I hope to God nobody is out there trying to make fatherhood look "stupid". Cause trust me, it's not.

Number Three: In an age where there are over 4 million new fathers a year, the last thing the world needs is another show to make fatherhood and fathers look stupid, idiotic, and completely lost with their lives. We need something to promote healthy fatherhood, involved fatherhood, REAL fatherhood.

So there you have it. My take on what may be the dumbest unofficial trailer I have ever seen for something related to fatherhood. Please, DADS, tell us that the trailer is not a complete preview of what is to come for the show. How about instead of setting out to make us look stupid, how about portraying fatherhood in a light that can always use a little more brightness? Thanks. - The Dude Abides

Product Review: Pictures on Gold Laser Printed Locket

2012-02-07T08:20:00.001-05:00

Valentine's Day is just around the corner. Eight days to be exact. I don't know about the rest of the males reading this post, but I have a harder time buying gifts for Valentine's Day than for any other holiday that you buy gifts for. Going out and endlessly searching for that perfect gift and pulling out what's left of my hair when I can't find it. It's quite frustrating sometimes.

This year though, I have a great suggestion for that special someone in your life. Pictures on Gold is here to save the day on Valentine's Day, or any other special day of the year with a wonderful collection of custom photo lockets, and other photo jewelry. Pictures on Gold helped save my Valentine's gift shopping and blessed me with a custom photo locket for the wife.

Getting everything ready for them to laser engrave the pictures and inscription were easy as pie. Uploading two pictures, and the text that I wanted on the front, and the rest was done by Pictures on Gold. A short few days later, the locket arrived at my front door.

In all honesty, I was quite surprised by the detail and beauty of the locket I received. I have seen many places where the same concept of a product has been offered, only to be extremely disappointed with the final product. Not with Pictures on Gold. Opening up the locket, I cgmailould look at those adorable kids in the pictures, and smile in awe just like the real photo that hangs on the wall in my living room. Remarkably detailed, flawless, and beautiful.

And just in time for Valentine's Day, you can enter to win your own personalized sterling silver "Sweetheart" locket from Pictures on Gold!!! All you have to do is send them a tweet using @PicturesOnGold1, #win, #locket, and you are entered to win! But hurry, the contest ends February 10th at 11:59pm EST. You must be 18+ and a resident of the US or Canada.

So hurry now and enter to win. And if you don't win, that's okay. You can order your personalized, laser engraved locket for your sweetheart directly from the Pictures on Gold website. Fast, easy, beautiful.

*You can also catch Pictures on Gold on Facebook and Twitter*

*Disclosure: How cool is it that Pictures on Gold sent me a free, laser engraved locket for the wife to help facilitate this review? Yes, my Valentine's shopping has been saved. HOWEVER: All opinions expressed within this review are mine and mine alone.*

If I Failed

2012-02-06T15:05:00.001-05:00

I am weak and I am tired. My soul burns with a dying fire.
And I don't gel I can carry on much longer.
I am sick and I am faded. Lackluster and jaded.
And the world outside my window is getting smaller.
But I'll try, I will resist, rise against and give it all
If you say you will be there to catch me if I ever fall

And if I failed you now, it would be a dying shame
To lay to waste the feelings felt, to shake away your faith.
All the words would shatter, never matter, crumbled to the floor.
Collecting dust as they fall down, to float on never more.

I was selfish, never selfless. Never put you high enough on my list
But still I turn around to find you standing here with me.
I have betrayed and disengaged, lost my sight and lost my way.
And I feel about as distant as I can be.
But I'll try. I will resist, rise against and give it all
If you say you will be there to catch me if I ever fall

And if I failed you now, it would be a dying shame
To lay to waste the feelings felt, to shake away your faith.
All the words would shatter, never matter crumbled on the floor.
Collecting dust as they fall down, to float on never more

Will you catch me? Will you hold me? Will you save me? Will you love me now?

Cause if I failed you now, it would be my dying shame.
To lay to waste the feelings felt, to cause you that much pain.
All the words would shatter, never matter, lying on my grave.
Trapping me beneath the weight, of your dying faith

I won't fail you now, it won't be my dying shame.
I won't waste the feelings and the days, or shake away your faith
All the words I cradle, never fade out, always hang above
Catching me if I fall, into the arms of love

The Thing About Believing

2012-02-05T23:32:00.000-05:00

I want to start this post off with the lyrics to a song I have listened to probably 20 times in the last 24 hours. The song is called "The View from My Eyes" by the band Confide. A metalcore band who is no longer together, but who's music is still just brutally powerful.

"After everything we've been through, After all the times I've felt you,You wouldn't think I'd ask you why I'm here. It's all because I believe in you. I know now you believe in me too. I could not believe in all the things you told me if you had never shown me. After all the gaps I fell through, After all the times I left you, I wouldn't think your answer would be so clear. It's all because I believe in you, I know now you believe in me too. This doesn't mean I'll stop. I never thought that I'd believe But now you feel so real to me. I could not believe. You showed me."

Have you ever really thought about the power of believing? I'm not necessarily talking faith or religion, although those kinds of beliefs are very valid factors in the over all point of this post. What I am talking about is the power of truly believing in something so much that it makes you hurt. Have you ever believed in something so much that it could make you laugh and cry? It could bring you joy, and bring you sadness?

Have you ever believed in another person that much? Has anyone ever believed in you that much?

Have you ever believed in yourself that much?

Painful questions to truly ponder on and on so many levels to think. The true shot to the heart in it all is asking the ultimate "when was the last time I could answer yes to all three of those questions?" I have asked myself that exact ultimate in the last 24 hours. The answer is that is I could not honestly tell you the last time I could answer "yes" to all three questions.

The power of belief is one that can build and destroy. We throw belief to many things only to end up crushed or empty in the end. That, in turn, can make it that much more difficult to throw a true belief to one thing or to one person. We hold on to a bitter angst that prevents us from being able to believe and support each other, the way we should, and the way we could. We also hold the power of destroying the belief that others have in us.

It is a true, heart warming, soul lifting feeling to know that someone truly believes in you. When someone puts more faith and more all into you than you do into yourself, well, that's just something magical. It is a true, heart breaking, soul crushing feeling, to know that someone put that much faith in you, and you proved their belief in you to be unfounded. It is a miserable, gut wrenching feeling. We have all done it at some time. I've seen it on people's faces. This, in most every case, comes from one thing. Not believing in ourselves.

I have always been very critical of myself. I have brought myself to the brink of self-destruction all because I had no belief or faith in myself, even when others did. To face, and overcome obstacles, to try new things and begin new adventures. Even with the world behind me, I have failed myself, and then failed those who put so much of themselves behind me. And sometimes, it just takes seeing that in someone's eyes, or hearing it in their voice, for that belief to become real again.

So, from the outside looking in, I would have to think that somehow belief holds a lot more power than we realize. And that the circle of someone believing in us, so we believe in ourselves, and can believe in others, will never end, but can surely be broken. Maybe we all just need it to become real for us every now and then, that way the circle is once again fixed, by the power that believing can hold.

I Would Like To

2012-02-03T19:15:00.000-05:00

Yes I would like to
Sail the seven seas, in a vessel mighty and strong.
Rolling along the cresting waves, just sailing my way back home.

Yes I would like to
Travel a rocket ship, and sail it among the stars.
Then float my way back to Earth, and back to my backyard.

Yes I would like to
Dig a hole using a garden trowel, and trek my way down in the deep.
Then climb my way back, hand over hand, with the center of the world to keep.

Yes I would like to
Take all of my dreams and make them come to life.
Experience each in their beauty and wonder.
But for now, I shall keep it in dreams ever rife
And in that way I live them, in my silent slumber.

The Dude Declares Friday "High Five Friday"

2012-02-03T10:29:00.002-05:00

I am probably the biggest fan of giving high fives that there ever was. Nothing beats a well timed, hard slapped, loud popping high five. It's been the celebratory upper-extremity gesture of acceptance, congratulations, and awesomeness for many many years.

The kids and I each have a separate best friend hand shake that always starts with a high five and a fist bump. When they have done something good, when they eat all of their food, when something awesome happens on Thomas and Friends, or just because, the high five is an integral part of our use of hands to communicate awesomeness.

Yesterday I had a bit of a revelation. You can read about it in this post right here. Not that I am immediately mentally and spiritually awakened and filled, but I do feel a bigger kick in my step today. I have accepted where I am at and have set the goal of where I am going next, and how I go about getting there. It's truly a good feeling. So good in fact that I wish I could come through your screen right now and just lay on ya, the biggest high five in the world. Unfortunately, this isn't something there is an app for, so if you want to accept your high five from me, follow the instructions in the hand to the left.

People don't think too much about the importance of a high five, but hopefully that will all change today. By the power invested in me by absolutely nobody, The Dude has proclaimed that Friday shall now be "High Five Friday". It is your charge to give out as many high fives as you can on Fridays. Whether its getting off work, coming home to the family, leaving for a weekend getaway, it doesn't matter. Get those hands high in the air and start spreading some joy.

To make this even more fun, I invite you to comment here, or holla at me on Twitter and Facebook and let me know that you have done your part to spread a little cheer and tell me what the high five was for. I want to know about it! I even invite you to send me pics on Twitter and Facebook of you giving someone a high five. Get creative with it, and I'll share them in next week's High Five Friday post!

Everyone have a rocking awesome weekend, and I'll catch you on the flip side. HIGH FIVE!!!

-The Dude Abides-

Zen and the Art of Paying Rent and Maintenance Fees

2012-02-02T17:12:00.000-05:00

There is one understanding of the highest importance that one must have before continuing on with this post. That one understanding is this:

"I do not own my life. I rent it while I'm here."

I'll give you a moment to reflect on this understanding before I continue on. This is a new understanding for me as well, so I'll take a moment to reflect for myself.......

One thing that has become increasingly clear to me over the last couple of weeks, is that I do not own the life I have. I rent it from my creator. He who has given me the life I have is He who can quickly kick me out. Just like it is in the apartment I live in, if I don't pay my rent, then I probably won't have a place to live. Except with life, the rent is not based on income, and there is no other place for me to go move in if I decided I don't like it here. There's only one way out of that lease, and I'm not even going there.

In most places, the lower the rent, the lower the quality of the dwelling place. The higher the rent, the better the quality. In both situations there are other bills and fees that must be paid in order to live there as well. Maintenance fees in an apartment complex can get quite expensive, no matter where it is you are paying your rent.

Much of the same can be said for our lives. If we pay the least amount of rent that we possibly can, then we can only expect to get out of life what we are putting in. If we decide to work hard, sacrifice, and dedicate ourselves to paying a little higher of a cost, then it's possible that we will build for ourselves the home that we want. Rent or own regardless, we can be happy that we turned what we rent into what we want.

But there are other fees and charges we must consider as well. Health, happiness, value. What I have found in the last couple of weeks is that these can greatly alter the price we pay for the life we have. Stress can weaken us physically and mentally, or both. When this happens, we pay the extra fee to "fix" whatever is going on. One stress will easily lead to another. After the snowball starts rolling, it all becomes a debt. Nobody wants to be stuck at the end of life with past due balances.

Life offers one advantage over paying Earthly rent. A guarantee the the property value will always be greater than the price we pay. A wise person once told me that "even if you have only affected one person for the better, the fact that you have, is of high value". We may be getting everything out of where we are, and with what we pay, but we cannot see the value that it has to other people. Always remember that "one man's trash is another man's treasure".

After adding up the rent and all associated fees and expenses, we arrive to the final ponder: How do you measure the worth of a life? When and where do we arrive at the point that we are happy for the property we have in exchange for the rent we pay? Most importantly, how will my life be appraised by others? To paraphrase the best answer I can think of at the moment

"If you believe that I am worth the worry I cause you, then know that you are worth much more."

If someone can see us at our lowest, and still consider us worth a part of their life, then I guess the value of our property is worth any price we pay. Hearing your worth, on those terms, helps you to be able to appreciate more, the worth of others. When we can see the value in others and appreciate the value in ourselves, then the budget becomes that much closer to being balanced.

I Would

2012-02-02T12:12:00.000-05:00

I would walk a mile for a chance to hear your voice. I would walk a thousand to hear it speak my name.

I would walk a mile for the chance to hold your hand. I would walk a thousand for the chance to hold it forever.

I would walk a mile for your embrace. I would walk a thousand to be in that embrace for eternity.

I would walk a mile for just one kiss. I would walk a thousand for the kiss that steals your heart.

To the ends of the earth, I would walk to find you. To the moon and back, I would walk, just to bring you some of its magic and beauty. Between all of the stars in the heavens, I would walk, just to bring you their wonder and brilliance. Out to the sun, and back down to Earth, I would walk, just to show you how my heart burns with the shine of your smile.

There is no distance too far. There are no shoes too worn. Because for you, I would walk until I had no breath, I would run until I had no pulse. I would take step after step until I perished, because my heart would drive me so.

I would walk a mile to write this for you; a thousand miles for you to accept it.

For you, I would.

The Dude on "Go the (fiddlesticks) to Sleep" by Adam Mansbach

2012-02-01T10:19:00.000-05:00

Yes, before going any farther, I did edit out the obvious replacement for the word in parenthesis. Hey, I have family, including one grandmother, who checks the blog out regularly, so I try to keep it somewhat decent.

Moving on now...

The first time I had even heard of this book was when someone showed me the YouTube video of it being read by Samuel L. Jackson. I mean, come on, with a title like that, who better to be narrating? Just the title and narrators name alone were enough to get me tuned in and watching the video. Within seconds, I was laughing so hard and so loud that I woke the kids up from their sleep. Seemed only fitting considering the book that good ole Samuel had just read to me.

I'm sure there are a lot of critics of this book that have bashed it for it's blatant use of profanity and the fact that telling a child to "go the [expletive deleted] to sleep" may not be exactly appropriate. I could see why such critics would say such things, but that's not what I'm here for today. I am here to merely say "Thank you Adam Mansbach" for having the guts to finally say what almost every new parent has thought at some point.

If you follow me on Twitter, than chances are you have caught tweets in the evening to the tone of "WHOO HOO! It's almost bedtime!" or "Thank goodness I think both of the kids are finally asleep". If you are a parent of toddlers, and you tweet, chances are you've said something similar at one point. My kids are notorious bedtime fighters, and they make a lot of nights the "final stand". My kids never go to sleep without "I Love You" being the last thing they hear from me, but that doesn't always mean the evening was rainbows and sunshine.

This "naughty narrative" by Adam Mansbach puts into words, all of the words that I sometimes feel like saying at bedtime. When the day has been long, the evening even longer, and I'm ready for some peace and quiet, you can sometimes find me about to pull my beard out. It is by no means an easy job to be a parent. Especially when you have kids that loathe bedtime. There are only so many times I will fetch a toy or drink of water before the trips up and down the stairs start to wear me thin.

So in closing, while it might be a controversial item in the best-seller list, "Go the (fudge bar) to Sleep" definitely gains a DaddyYo Dude Thumbs Up Award for originality, and reality. Adam Mansbach, well done sir. The voice of stressed out, sleepless parents, has been sold out to the masses. Even Mr. Jackson agrees, it's just something we all feel at one point.

Who Are You Really

2012-01-31T18:04:00.000-05:00

A Soft Hug - I love giving hugs. Big ole bear hugs for Little Man, strong man hugs for my homies, soft hugs to someone who just needs it to brighten their day. Hugs communicate love, and caring. It is an action that speaks a lot louder than the words that typically accompany said hug.

A Fake Smile - Those that know me in real life, see me on the regular, or work with me, will tell you that there is hardly a time that they see me and I am not smiling. Which is a good thing I guess. Always good to see smiling faces when you are out and about, or down and out. A lot of the time though, I am wearing a fake smile. I don't easily show when things are going wrong or when I am feeling blue. I tend to be extremely closed off when it comes to sharing these feelings. Now I'm sure people will keep nagging to see if I'm really happy or not, but regardless, there will still be a smile on my face.

Rock and Roll - I live my life like life is going out of style. We are not guaranteed our next breath, and I don't take that for granted. Life is too short to not be having fun with it, so when it is at all possible, I like to jam my face off and rock out my life. I'm not afraid to make a fool out of myself off of someone else's or my own ideas. It happens. I either succeed at the challenge and shock people with my quirky skill, or I fail miserably and allow myself to be entertainment and comedic relief. It's all about having fun with what little time we have.

Emotionally Unsound - Yes it is true. Emotionally I presume I am a train wreck of sorts. Maybe it's depression, maybe it's the lack of knowing how to properly handle all of my emotions, let alone many at once. Either way, I'm like a pregnant lady with the worst mood swings ever sometimes. I can be happy one moment, and sad the next. Completely okay one minute, and outraged the next. It's something I have struggled with for quite a while, and something I work hard on to better control, especially now that I have children. Who else is going to teach them such coping skills?

In a Fight with Anger - Anger is my worst enemy. We all grapple with anger. For me, it stems from a former way of living. A life full of drugs, anger, hate, violence, and depression. It's been many many years since I have lived like that. But anger is still an emotion that I let get the best of me way too often. I have always had somewhat of a temper. I am easily angered by even the smallest of things. It's not something I'm particularly proud of, and it has given me much more trouble than I care to remember. Anger is hard to overcome, but I try. As something I face on a daily basis, I make the daily decision to improve on it. Fail or not, I try to defeat anger in this fight for control.

Lust and Covetousness - Since the moment the apple was bitten, man has struggled with lust. For me, this is not so much a sexual thing, as it is a lust for what others have that I don't. Covetousness is more of the proper term. Though I cannot be transparent with you if I told you I never struggled with sexual lust. Any man who says he hasn't, gay or straight, would be lying. Go ahead and try to tell me different. I'm a male too. I know. But I do struggle with covetousness a bit. Our financial stability for the last 4 years depended on my job as a cook and, at the time, part-time manager in a restaurant. We've seen some tough times before, and in those times, I would look around at what others had, and I would be envious. I felt like I had worked so hard for absolutely nothing. And in a way, thus blinded to the miracles running around my house in the evenings.

Fearful of Much - I am scared of many things. From death to clowns, I live in fear of a great deal. I'm even scared to take OTC medicines like ibuprphen even minutes before the "every four hours" has expired. I am always fearful of dying. All things combined, I truly enjoy my life enough to not want it to go anywhere. And despite my faith, and believing what I do about the afterlife, it still freaks me out. Like, I close my eyes and suddenly I'm somewhere different? I won't know I've died? I trip on this all the time. I'm also afraid of things like failure, rejection, underachieving. I set myself up for failure out of the fear of failing, that I fail in my attempt to overcome my fear of failure and rejection. Thus, underachieving at whatever I failed at. And a life spent in fear, is the only part I would not miss about death.

Selfish more than Selfless - I guess this could be the human flaw in all of us. I tend to think about myself too much. I try not to though it is something else I fail at as well. Caring for others is one trait I definitely plan on teaching my kids, and there is no other greater source for them to get the example from than their parents, which happens to include me. But so far, I'm not doing a very good job at being the right example.

Powered with Compassion - Believe it or not, on the inside of this tough, manly beard of mine, there is a heart. I have a soft spot for people. I don't harbor hate for people based on anything. I'm not discriminatory and I'm not a bigot. I see hurt and pain in others and I cry inside for them. I see children, women, men, grandmothers, grandfathers, mothers, dads, all of them. They are people like me. Like you. Like them. It truly pains me to see some of the hatred that does exist in this world. Imagine if everyone spoke to each other like the next thing they said would be the last thing they ever said? In the words of John Lennon "Imagine all the people, living life in peace."

Me - What I have given you today is a fraction of who I am. And all I can truly understand about myself. People tell me online that they would like to spend a day with me just to see what I am really like. I'm really not too much different than how you read me. There's more here than meets the eye, but as humans learned about the Autobots, we can be friends and allies. I am who I am. I can't be anyone else, but I suppose it is good to know who you are. So I tried to answer the question for myself and for my readers of "Who are you, really?". And now only one question remains, who are you, really?

"The Secret World of Arrietty" Trailer and Activity Sheets

2012-01-31T16:38:00.000-05:00

Residing quietly beneath the floorboards are little people who live undetected in a secret world to be discovered, where the smallest may stand tallest of all. From the legendary Studio Ghibli (“Spirited Away,” “Ponyo”) comes “The Secret World of Arrietty,” an animated adventure based on Mary Norton’s acclaimed children’s book series “The Borrowers.”

Arrietty (voice of Bridgit Mendler), a tiny, but tenacious 14-year-old, lives with her parents (voices of Will Arnett and Amy Poehler) in the recesses of a suburban garden home, unbeknownst to the homeowner and her housekeeper (voice of Carol Burnett). Like all little people, Arrietty (AIR-ee-ett-ee) remains hidden from view, except during occasional covert ventures beyond the floorboards to “borrow” scrap supplies like sugar cubes from her human hosts. But when 12-year-old Shawn (voice of David Henrie), a human boy who comes to stay in the home, discovers his mysterious housemate one evening, a secret friendship blossoms. If discovered, their relationship could drive Arrietty’s family from the home and straight into danger. The English language version of “The Secret World of Arrietty” was executive produced by Kathleen Kennedy and Frank Marshall, and directed by Gary Rydstrom. The film hits theaters Feb. 17, 2012.

To celebrate the upcoming debut of "The Secret World of Arrietty, Disney passed along some cool coloring and activity sheets for the kids! Below are just samples of a few and you can download the entire PDF from this link right here that is highlighted in blue and written in a run on sentence so you can't miss it (hosted on FileSwap)!

**Disclosure: This information and activity sheets were provided to me by Disney to share at my will. There was no compensation received. Just love sharing awesomeness with my readers!**

In That Night

2012-01-30T20:50:00.000-05:00

In that night the air was crisp, cold, and cutting. The smoke rose from the tops of chimneys, giving the mountainside the appearance of a soon to erupt volcano. The scent of burning wood d winter filled my nostrils. The cold air I breathed contradicted with the radiant love that burned within my heart.

In that night, we were invincible, unstoppable, and unshakable. Nothing could stand between us. In that night, we had just one heart. We beat together as one in a rhythmic melody that made the stars dance. The music we played with our hearts combined would drown out the wind itself, as the moon bowed to its grace and beauty.

In that night, our souls became old friends. They knew each other whole and complete. No secrets. No revelations. Together as best friends, our souls were uplifted, high, and whole. No words would need be said during those late hours. Our souls spoke through our eyes.

In that night, we held each other as if the world would end before daylight. We knew nothing of yesterday and had no thoughts on tomorrow. The clocks stopped their hands in a reverent salute to what we showed was pure, good, and honest. Time stood still just for us.

In that night we fell asleep lying next to each other. Our eyes fell heavy as we gazed through the windows behind our sagging eyelids. Sometime just before dawn, we found rest. The comfort of the sleep would awaken us renewed in the morning. At daylight, we would begin a life. A new chapter. One that started being written in that night.

Marvel Avengers Twitter Q&A

2012-01-30T07:28:00.001-05:00

“MARVEL’S THE AVENGERS” ASSEMBLE ON TWITTER

MARVEL STUDIOS SPONSORS GLOBAL TWITTER CHAT WITH DIRECTOR AND CAST FOR FANS AROUND THE WORLD

PARTICIPANTS GET TEASE OF “MARVEL’S THE AVENGERS”

30-SECOND SUPER BOWL SPOT AND CHANCE TO WIN PRIZES

Marvel Studios will be sponsoring a Global Twitter Chat on Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 11 a.m. (PST) with cast members and the director of their highly anticipated action-adventure “Marvel’s The Avengers,” opening in theaters on May 4, 2012. The 30-minute live tweeting event features writer/director Joss Whedon and cast members Tom Hiddleston and Clark Gregg.

Fans around the world will be able to participate in the Q&A on Twitter by using the @Avengers handle and the #Avengers hashtag. Participating fans will have the opportunity to see a 10-second tease of the 30-second Super Bowl spot that will air during Super Bowl XLVI on February 5 on NBC. They will also have a chance to answer “Avengers” trivia for a chance to win “Avengers” prize packs.

International fans will be able to submit questions for the talent in their native language through a global translation tool provided by Ortsbo.com. The chat will be moderated by Marvel’s @Agent_M.

“Marvel’s The Avengers” is the Super Hero team up of a lifetime, featuring iconic Marvel Super Heroes Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye and Black Widow. When an unexpected enemy emerges that threatens global safety and security, NickFury, Director of the international peacekeeping agency known as S.H.I.E.L.D., finds himself in need of a team to pull the world back from the brink of disaster. Spanning the globe, a daring recruitment effort begins.

Starring Robert DowneyJr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, JeremyRenner and Tom Hiddleston, with Stellan Skarsgård and Samuel L. Jackson, and written and directed by Joss Whedon, “Marvel’s The Avengers” is based on the ever-popular Marvel comic book series “The Avengers,” first published in 1963 and a comics institution ever since.

“Marvel’s The Avengers” is presented by Marvel Studios in association with Paramount Pictures. The film is being produced by Marvel Studios’ President Kevin Feige and executive produced by Alan Fine, Stan Lee, Jon Favreau, Louis D’Esposito, Patricia Whitcher, Victoria Alonso and Jeremy Latcham. The film is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

Follow @Avengers on Twitter for more details.

On Roses

2012-01-28T09:14:00.000-05:00

Each petal lies open and bare. Exposing itself fully, naked and truthful, for all who pass a glance. Each in their place. Precisely placed in turn, one after another, as if they were set there by the hand of God himself. Elegant, sophisticated, unmatched perfection.

Each row seems to be cradled by the next. Lying gently against each other, they stand in brilliance. Each ring complete in its wavy wonder, shining with drops of dew. Each ring glistens with the shine of life's essence.

Around the pristine circle, the symmetry reflect perfection. From no angle will you find a flaw. From the tip of the petals to the center that holds it all together. With its simple beauty and complex existence, it smiles towards the heavens. As if to thank the God and the angels for simply being.

The Sound of Happiness

2012-01-27T17:12:00.000-05:00

Behind her, the noise began to escalate. As she walked through the uninviting doors, she could hear them. A hundred whispering voice speaking lies, speaking venom, speaking daggers. The words cut her soul and pierce her heart. She doesn't show it on her face.

She just keeps walking.

Back straight, head held high, she keeps her back turned to them. Never letting them see the damage they really cause. They keep firing off rounds in her ears.

She just keeps walking.

She makes her way up the winding staircase. Half of the braces to the rails are missing. "Too many people bearing too much weight" she thinks to herself. She would never be more correct. Those stairs had been the brace for many worn out feet and heavy souls. Yet, there they were. Providing their support to those who travel them. Creaking, cracking, but never giving up.

At the top of the stairs she swings open the door to the meeting room. There he stands. Staring directly into her eyes, the emptiness from his fills her. He stands tall, strong, unshakable. She shakes off the pain of the attackers as she had first walked in, and musters up all of the strength she has.

The door shuts behind her. Alone they stand, face to face, eye to eye, toe to toe. "This is it" she thought. "This is when I finally become free." She took the deepest, fullest breath she had ever taken. She let the air fill her lungs as her chest swelled with anger. There were so many things she wanted to say. So many things she wanted to do to him. So much was running through her mind.

But it only took two words.

"No more" she spoke with the loudest intentions. And like that, it was over, she was free.

She made her way down the old, winding staircase. The stairs creaked with relief over not bearing the heavier weight of an earlier moment. Those stairs had carried much weight, but had also held up those who left with much less.

She makes her way through the throngs of others and makes her way to the front door. Behind her, the noise began to escalate. But as she exited the front doors, she could hear nothing. She could feel nothing. There were no weapons, no spears, no bullets, no words, that could hurt her again. She had spoken the words that had set her free, and no more would she be brought down by the senseless attacks. She was deaf to the world and could hear nothing.

Nothing but the sound of happiness.

Pigtails are Not for the Bald

2012-01-26T06:55:00.000-05:00

I guess the important thing is that I try. But, having no hair on top of my head, and it having been that way for some 10 plus years, I haven't the slightest clue how to style actual hair. I can grow a mean beard, and even sculpt and style it, but when it comes to a hairdo, forget it. The Dude knows nada.

So it's really no surprise that when it comes to trying to fix Little Girl's hair, I am a complete idiot. At least with Little Man, he has shaggy hair like I used to (believe it or not) have, so it's easy to brush out and get that Beatles look going on. But LG now? Her hair is a different story. Blonde, flowing, beautiful hair she has. It's almost a shame to put any kind of bow or clip or barrette or whatever in it. Nevertheless, ponytails must prevent hair from getting in food, and sometimes, dressing her up when we go out is just half the fun of going out.

Now, I've come to master the art of the pony tail. Using the brush to comb out any tangles and bring the hair evenly back to my hand where it awaits the hair band. In rare instances, I have been able to get a ponytail and have the "side bangs" going on. Where we either put gel in it to keep it in place, or I use a clip to keep the hair pulled behind her ears. Ponytails are no match for me. But pigtails, I have recently learned, are a whole different beast themselves.

I'm not sure whether it was the awful, uneven, poofs of hair and hair bow that did her in, or if I somehow inflicted pain when trying to get the pigtails fast enough, but after that incident, LG doesn't trust me too much with her hair. We had to take the car during the day one day, and of course I stopped by work to get her a sweet tea, and show off how cute she is. Tell me you don't just ever show your cute kids off. So we set to picking out the perfect outfit, the perfect shoes, perfect hoodie, and then to styling the perfect hair.

LG loves going out, loves dressing up, and of course loves all of the attention. On this particular day we went with a hoodie that kind of looks like a dress, but it's not quite. Blouse maybe? I don't know how they name girl's clothing. I just know it was cute. We got some blue jeans with sparkly flowers and the back pockets that she is thrilled by. She always keeps a dollar in one. Makes her feel grown up I guess. We picked out the perfect white sandals with the white flower on them and got ready.

We were down to the hair and I decided pigtails would pull this off perfectly. And when they are done right (usually by mommy), she looks just like a little girl out of Whoville. SO I got the brush and started trying to part the hair perfectly down the middle. Ummmm, yeah, there's just one problem with that. I have forgotten how to part hair! It has been well over 10 years since I had hair that was able to be parted. So I did my best and pressed on. There has to be a bow to cover it up, right?

20 minutes later, and 4 unsuccessful tries later, Little Girl had the worst, most lopsided pigtails ever seen. Remember the girl off of Napoleon Dynamite with the ponytail on the side? Well, imagine if she had another one on the other side, but 5 inches lower in reference. It was horrible. Little Girl hated it, and gave up on my abilities to "get it this time" as I had said 3 times before that. She snatched the brush from my hand, threw it across the living room and proclaimed "Daddy! Do not touch my hair again". It might have been the plainest English to come out of her mouth to date.

So we gave up and went out. Her long, flowing, beautiful blonde hair just swaying and blowing in the breeze. She couldn't be any happier. She quickly got over the traumatic experience, but the feelings of failure still haunt me to this day. Perhaps if I practice enough, I will eventually get it. Or maybe it's just a law of nature, and pigtails are just not a territory that a bald guy should venture into.

Benefit for the Hungry at Quincey's Pizza in Damascus, VA

2012-01-24T16:13:00.000-05:00

Friday January 27, from 8PM til closing time, Quincey's Pizza is having a concert to benefit the Damascus

Food Pantry.

Featured guests are Jon Fox, Tim Paretti, Mike Mitchell, and Josh Morgan, and hosted by Adam Bolt.

Admission is at least 2 canned goods to give to the Food Pantry. The more the merrier, of course! All donated foods will be delivered to the Damascus Food Pantry to help them provide food to those in need in our area.

Please come out for a night of great Acoustic style music and support the Food Pantry.

Also, visit our guests on their pages:

Jon Fox: http://www.jonfoxmusic.com/

Tim Paretti: http://www.myspace.com/timparetti

Mike Mitchell: http://www.mikemitchellmusic.com/

Also check out Quincey's Pizza and Backyard Grill on Facebook: http://facebook.com/quinceyspizza

Finding Nemo in 3D: Coming September 14, 2012

2012-01-24T08:26:00.000-05:00

"Give me some fin! Noggin! DUDE!!!" Oh yeah! This is an actual handshake I do with Little Man now after the first time he watched "Finding Nemo. In my opinion, it's one of the greatest Disney animated films of all time. It is one of the few movies that I can allow to play over and over and over, and not feel like I'm going to through a golf ball straight through the TV glass.

Disney has a long standing history of creating great family films and animated features, as well as combining both of them. And for me, "Finding Nemo" sticks out because it is a terrific story of a father who would stop at nothing for his child. I even wrote a post about the inspiration that this movie brings me over on DadRevolution. Of course, there is the plus side of a giant green bowl full of popcorn being shared with the kids, while we sit on the rug in the living room, watching this movie. Many times we have shared a picnic on the rug, watching great family films.

This September, the 14th to be exact, the awesomesauce that is "Finding Nemo" is coming back to the big screen. And this time, it's in 3D! The original animated feature, a multi-award winning production from Disney and Pixar, comes to life with the scientific marvel that is the art of 3D. Check out the "Finding Nemo" page over on Facebook for more!

From the press release: Academy Award^®-winning Best Animated Feature “Finding Nemo” returns to the big screen for the first time ever in thrilling Disney Digital 3D™. In this stunning underwater adventure, with memorable characters, humor and heartfelt emotion, “Finding Nemo” follows the comedic and momentous journey of an overly protective clownfish named Marlin (voice by Albert Brooks) and his son Nemo (voice by Alexander Gould)––who become separated in the Great Barrier Reef when Nemo is unexpectedly taken far from his ocean home and dumped into a fish tank in a dentist’s office. Buoyed by the companionship of Dory (voice by Ellen DeGeneres), a friendly-but-forgetful Pacific regal blue tang, Marlin embarks on a dangerous trek and finds himself the unlikely hero of an epic effort to rescue his son––who hatches a few daring plans of his own to return safely home.

**Disclosure: I was provided absolutely nothing from this post. The information was sent to me from a representative at Disney and I just decided to pass it along to you. You're welcome!**

Children See... Children Do

2012-01-23T17:25:00.000-05:00

I came across this video on YouTube today. I almost cried. I almost yelled. I almost decided not to move a muscle anymore. Shared by KidsCan of New Zealand (produced by Child Friendly Australia) comes one of the most touching parenting PSAs I have ever seen before.

A strong message about how our actions and words affect the children around us, and their lives. EVERYTHING our kids see gets absorbed, and often times, it gets repeated. Of course, this isn't just the things that we don't want them to do. They will emulate the acts of kindness and words of love we spread too. So take a look, have a cry with me, then let's all decided that the better things are kids can learn from us are the important things are kids can learn from us.

Music Monday: "Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast) by Lostprophets

2012-01-23T11:05:00.001-05:00

It is important to note that if you want to know why this song made it to Music Monday today, then you need to go back and read my previous post, "Scream Until Your Lungs Bleed". For that night, that time, that moment, and that mindset, it was exactly the song I was needing to hear.

Lostprophets hail from Pontypridd, Wales and have been around since the late 90's. Through the years the band has seen a few changes in members, and a few changes in sound as the band has progressed. With four major albums out, it's needless to say that the guys from across the big pond have made quite a name for themselves.

I started listening to Lostprophets during my "emo phase" in the early college years. Yes, I was one of those kids. I have seen this band categorized in many ways. From screamo to post-hardcore, to nu-metal. Either way, it's just damn good music. "Last Train Home" became an immediate favorite of mine, from their first album, Start Something. Though I haven't been a die hard, my room is decorated in swag fan of theirs, the music they have produced over the years always has something to capture my attention.

In 2006 they released the album "Liberation Broadcast", their third album, which became their first to enter the UK Album Char at number one. An album full of inspiration that found them with a slightly new tone. This would be the album that produced the song "Rooftops" that brings Lostprophets to the "Music Monday" spotlight.

"When our time is up. When our lives are done. Will we say we've had our fun? Will we make our mark this time? Will we always say we've tried?"

That's kind of "the" question isn't it? The ever present inquisition into exactly what our lives will mean after we are gone. What will we leave behind as our legacy? Will it be a lifetime of memories and greatness? Will we leave behind a life that was lived to the fullest? Will we even be able to say that we tried to have a fulfilled life? Or will we silently cave in to those things that numb us to the greatness that abounds? Life if full of these questions and perhaps asking them too much blinds us as well. But that is "the" question isn't it?

"All the love I've met. I have no regrets. If it all ends now, I'm set"

And this would kind of be the goal right? A life of no regrets, and the ability to say that if it were to all be over now, then I'm cool with it. It really is amazing to think about all of the life and love we encounter even in just one day. It takes a certain mindset to live a life that appreciates love and life more than dwells on the negative. I just hope that on my deathbed, I can utter these same words, and be chill with where my life ended.

"Standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your hearts out. This is all we've got now. Everybody scream your hearts out."

From that moment, that song playing, that night, I posed the question "What if the last thing you said to someone was the last thing you would ever say?" Really think about that as I close this post out. From the rooftops, from your doorstep, from the arms of a love, I think the world deserves nothing less than screaming hearts, flooding our ears with love. No regrets, so if it all ended now, we would all be set.

Scream Until Your Lungs Bleed

2012-01-21T02:24:00.000-05:00

What if you were to die after reading this post? Really think about that for a moment. What if reading this post was the last thing you would ever do in life? What if writing this post was the last thing I would ever do? What was the last thing you said to someone? Last thing you said to your spouse? Your child? Your parents? Really take a few moments to think about that. Was it words to regret? Was it words to be remembered?

I have a heavy mind and heart tonight. The last 8 days have been some of the toughest, mind grueling days I have had in quite some time. I'm not going to go into much detail because it would turn this into a 14,000 word mini-novel. I may not have enough time left to write that. You may not have enough time left to read it. So after this long 8 day stretch, I am almost to a breaking point, and I just want to scream. I want to open my front door, look up over the tree across the parking lot, and scream the loudest, Earth shattering yalp this world has ever known.

After work tonight, I came home, got the laptop out, put on some tunes, and jumped on Twitter. Even though it is now 2:12am and I have been up for almost 24 hours, I sit here. I'm still wired and going from my shift at work, and it is a lot of energy to have to expend. This is just how I do it. Then, a song comes on the Pandora station I was listening to tonight. I'm not going to name the song because it will be featured Monday. But it is one of my top 10 favorite songs of all time. Tonight, the song sang directly to me, as if to wake me up, to snap me out of this funky week.

I closed my eyes and almost cried. Thinking about the lyrics, how I perceive their meaning, I just wanted to break down and cry. Perhaps I should have. In times of stress, in times of sorrow, anger, frustration, depression, it can become very difficult to see what is still around us. There are so many ways that this week could have been much worse. But we are still here, we are still breathing, and we are still blessed. Clouded the mind can be, those that are consumed by themselves. Sitting here, in a state of realization and peace, I grabbed a pillow, put my face to it, and I screamed as loud as I could.

What if I were to shuffle off the mortal coil right this instance? How have I been love and light to those around me? Or have I been anger and shadow? What if my last words to each person I came in contact with today,were the last words I would have the chance to say to them? What if I never got the chance to say everything good, everything pure, everything that is deserving of its chance to be spoken to friends, to family, to coworkers? No, I don't want to be shadows. I don't want to be anger, or hate, or dismay. If the first words I speak in the morning are my last, I want them to make their mark. I made it long enough to write this, and hopefully, I will at least make it long enough to say the words that are deserving of their chance.

Now think about this: What if we all made it our intention to say those words at every chance we got?

Breathing

2012-01-20T15:58:00.000-05:00

Breathe in, oh my soul. Take in the joy, the excitement, the life that abounds.
Breathe in, oh my soul. Passively, life is draining.

Breathe out, oh my heart. Burst with joy and passion.
Breathe out, oh my heart. Expel to the world that which causes your very beat.

Breathe in, oh my mind. Absorb, acknowledge, and understand, that which surrounds you.
Breathe in, oh my mind. Create a record. These snapshots that embed themselves, and tell the stories around.

Breathe out, oh my pen. Spill the ink into the words that you know so well, so right.
Breathe out, oh my pen. Letting not a word dry before folding the pages.

On Love and Silence

2012-01-20T15:12:00.000-05:00

At the tip of my tongue, the words burn my lips.
Passion fills my cheeks in a silent abundance.
Too still I must remain.
Stealthy and unseen this fire rages on.
Until I slowly incinerate.
The ashes carrying with them
The words that went unspoken.

Top Ten Lessons I Learned from My Kids

2012-01-19T20:40:00.000-05:00

This coming May, as we celebrate The Kiddos' birthdays, I will be celebrating five years of dadhood. It is so hard to believe it has been that long since I watched as our first child, Little Man, made his appearance in the world. I have learned many things in the last five years. From changing diapers, to changing attitudes, ther has been much knowledge to be gained from the parenting life.

With knowledge gained comes knowledge to give to others who are just starting this adventure. So today, I am here to share with you the top ten lessons I have learned from my kids over the last five years I have been along for this ride. Some funny, some serious, but all bits of knowledge that I feel are suitable for sharing with other parents. So without further delay, here are the top ten things I have learned from my kids.

10) Cranky = Powerful - I know what you are thinking: “No cranky equals ANNOYING!”. Yes this is a true statement. But being the most easily determined observation, it blinds us to the secret power that lies behind the tears and screaming, and lurks under the time out chair like a snake waiting in tall grass. Under times of extreme stress, most parents have found themselves doing whatever it takes to calm their children down. And yes, even the best parents in the world can say they have given in before and met every demand until peace had filled the dwelling place, or eating establishment, or airport, or wherever the tantrum takes place. This gives the child ultimate control (and for the effort put forth) the power they feel when it is all over.

9) Cuteness = Even more Power - Part 2 to the aboved mentioned power comes the power of being just too darn cute for their britches. After most heated battles in our house between parent and child (most the time my 4yo) comes acts of cuteness, and kidness, and I’m talking sugar, spice, all things rice. It gets laid on us like a 100 pound sack of wet rice, and both my wife and I tend to become putty. It’s the power to bring your shields completely down as well as gain their much wanted love, affection, and for the most part, attention. The wide puppy dog eyes, the slow walk over to you, the bear hug, and the soft “sugie” are weapons of mass destruction on your defensive front for control of the house.

8) They meant it! - Long before their language skills are developed enough to ramble on for hours about their favorite toy, children communicate through babble and gibberish. When it seems like they are letting you have it, they probably are!!! Okay, maybe not fussing at you, but when they look serious about what they are trying to communicate, they know exactly what they are saying and they mean it! And if you think it is entertaining and confusing, wait till they learn actual words. Then there are actual conversations taking place, though not all the words in the sentence belong. Sometimes it takes a serial detective style decoding power to discern what is actually being said.

7) Anything you can do I can do too! -  Children develop very quick and in no time you find yourself with a “mini-you” following your every footstep, hanging onto every word you say, and closely studying your every move. And ultimately this means everything you do and say, your children will do their best to do and say as well. Everything from “Uh-oh” and “Pee-Pie” to "The electric bill is HOW MUCH?!?!" your children will try desperately to repeat. Not only an excellent way to try to learn and use new language skills, but to try to be just like the people they love and depend on the most. Everything from the way you dance, to shaving, to your body language when you talk, they will try their best to do. Any body language you display quickly becomes a part of their communications (and occasionally becomes a dance skill to them). Then of course is what they consider “cool adult stuff”. No, not that. Talking about washing dishes, talking on the phone, using the hair dryer. These are fascinating actions to go through for them and it is none the cooler to be able to perfectly imitate them to you for your approval.

6) No matter what your friends, your boss, or your parents tell you, you can be anything or anybody you want to be -  Playing ball, playing Spiderman, playing house, playing school. These are just a small sampling of answers you could get to the question “what are you doing?” A child’s imagination is wild, and sometimes, flat out entertaining and hilarious. They have the ability to be whoever they want to be, and do whatever they want, at just about any time that they want to. It is fascinating to watch all the different people they can be and places they can go without ever leaving the living room. If they want to be the soccer monster, then they are the soccer monster. If they say the stuffed elephant is a dinosaur, then it is. When Caleb walks out of the room and says he’s going to the house, then that’s where he is going. In the land of the imagination, everything is possible. You can be anything, anybody, anywhere, any time you want.

5) Bedtime does not always mean peace and quiet, relaxation time, or alone time -  Ah, the night sky has risen, the crickets are chirping and the kiddos are tucked away in bed for the ... Hold on … I’ll be right back … Okay where was I? Oh yes... Good grief, excuse me. “Ya'll lay down, and keep quiet. It's bedtime. We can't get up and play now. It's time to go to sleep.” ….. As I was saying, the kiddos are tucked in bed and I’m now praying with all my might they will sleep from now until sunrise. The downside to bedtime with children, and adults for that matter, is that you never know when a tummy ache, nightmare, or a good ole sleep walking incident will interrupt what could easily be the best part of any young parent’s day. Night time is the time you look forward to the most when there can be silence and peacefullness. But we all have those nights where it just seems that it’s written in stone that you will look like a raccoon with bags under your eyes the next day. Well, such is the ways of parenthood.

4) You are a hero no matter how much you feel you have failed -  All of us parents go through times where we feel like we have ultimately failed our children. It's quite possible we might even feel like the worst parents in the world. When they get hurt, when they are angry at us, or when things just don’t seem to be going right at all in life. But no matter what is going on in your life, you are always a hero to your children. You are superhuman to them. Our children depend on us for their well being as well as their emotional stability. When they get a boo boo and you kiss it better, you are their hero. When they are sad and you can find a way to make them laugh, you are their hero. Even when all you have done is something they consider extraordinary and super cool, you are their hero. No matter what life is throwing at you and how difficult it is to handle, you are still a hero to them. And with that, you can have a little peace of mind even in the toughest of situations just knowing that someone in this world still thinks you are a hero.

3) Actions speak louder than words -  Everything from the discipline of our children, to arguments with our spouses, to cheering for our children at their soccer games, the actions we display speak to them a lot louder than our words. Just as much as they are watching and trying to imitate everything we do, children are also trying to learn when to use certain actions and words. And most the time, the actions are more easily used than the language skills. They will learn about flailing their arms, hitting things, the action of putting your finger to your nose in an attempt to silence them. What to do in stressful situations, or happy occasions, or in times of sadness, are all things our children will learn from us before learning them anywhere else. ALL of our actions are observed and repeated. And this should call us to be vigilant and choose carefully, for our actions for they will affect even the littlest of people.

2) Sometimes you must have faith like a child - Kids will believe just about anything you tell them. “Daddy, I wanna watch football birds”. “Sorry son, football birds is broken. Why don’t we watch Blues Clues?” “ALRIGHT!!!” See how easy it was to change the programming choice? The same rings true with almost anything you tell a child. Children have a blind faith that the Vatican only wish it had. Children cannot see around little lies and truth bending we do to avoid certain situations. They have blindness to real world events and hardcore adult feelings. If you tell them you are okay, then you are. If you tell them you are sad, then you are. Even in play time, you tell them you are a dragon that’s going to “skit” them, then you are a big fire breathing dragon. A child trusts their parents and cloase relatives and friends because they do not no anything different. All the way from first time spending the night away from home to the first night spent in their college dorm, our children trust our judgement and our words with 100% blind faith, a faith we seem to lose when we grow up and become aware of a lot more. Don't get me wrong, they will learn the truth behind the lies eventually. But it’s a faith that is not to be taken for granted. It is to be inspired by, and to remain in awe of.

And the most important lesson I have learned from my children: To love without boundaries, is to love without hesitation, without question, and with an open heart -  All parents love their children with a love like none other. Stronger even than the love you have for a spouse, or family member, or family pet. And the love children have for their parents is without a doubt a love that can never be explained, never be reciprocated, and always make you feel better than a triple stacked ice cream cone on a hot southern afternoon. A child’s love is as blind as the faith that allows this love to exist. It’s a love that says you will never know how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate you in my life. A love that reminds us all, that in the face of uncertainty, and in a world that seems to crumble away day by day, there is a reason for hope, and a reason to look towards the future with blind ambition.

My Daughter will Redefine Girly: Guest Post by Melissa Wardy

2012-01-19T08:20:00.000-05:00

Being the dad of a daughter is going to be tough when Little Girl starts getting older. I know she will be bombarded by images and messages of what she should look like, dress like and act like. I make it my fight to make sure she knows that she is beautiful and powerful, just the way she is. It's not about the color of her world, it's about seeing the world without the boundaries and limitations set forth by mainstream media and commercialism. I am so glad to know that I will not be alone in this fight.

Today it is my pleasure to introduce you to Melissa. Melissa Wardy is a mother of two who owns and operates Pigtail Pals – Redefine Girly, an online store and media literacy blog that aims to change the way we look at girlhood. Their empowering products show girls they may be smart, daring, and adventurous. Melissa is hanging out with me today to talk a little bit about her own daughter, and redefining girly. So without further delay, here is Melissa in her own words!

When my daughter was born and I would spend the day holding her and dream about catching lightening bugs, teaching her to ride a bike and kick a soccer ball, reading “Little House On The Prairie”, and flying kites. A childhood fit for a Norman Rockwell piece for the Saturday Evening Post.

When my tiny girl was a few weeks old, I needed to restock on diapers so I ventured out to Target, running my first official errand as a mom. I came home mystified. My eyes were glazed over from pink pegboard and walls of plastic dolls that looked like sex workers and tulle and tiaras and slogans on every shirt that read “I love being the Princess” and “Daddy’s Princess” and “Sweet as Candy” and “Angel” and “Sassy, sometimes Sweet” and “Future Shopaholic”. The excess of tiaras and rhinestones had done me in. And why were girls being objectified into sweet candy? Gross.

This was girlhood? This was how I was supposed to raise my daughter? With these kinds of messages? And why was everything pink? I couldn’t understand it, and thought perhaps my post pregnancy hormones had made me time travel. You know, to 1950.

A few months later I was at a playgroup with my daughter and one of the mothers asked when I would introduce her to the Disney Princesses and Barbie. I suggested that maybe I wouldn’t, or at least I was in no rush to, because I didn’t think they were good role models for girls. The other mothers stared or laughed at me, as if I was from outer space. I explained I wasn’t about to raise my girl to wish upon a star and wait for
her prince. I’d rather teach her to get into a rocket ship and reach that star for herself. I wanted that message on infant girl clothing, but couldn’t find it. At least, I couldn’t find it on the “girl side” of the aisle.

Then I had one of those A ha! moments – why wasn’t anyone making clothes like that for girls? I scooped up my baby, raced home, and I filled page after page with ideas and drawings and plans…..for what would become my company Pigtail Pals.

I don’t see childhood as having a boy side and a girl side. I see childhood as a time for brightly colored, unstructured play fueled by powerful imaginations and the understanding all young children seem to have that the world is their oyster.

I have worked diligently to keep our home media literate, gender neutral with toys, and full of playthings that are open ended. My husband and I try to keep gender stereotypes and sexualization out of our home. I certainly will not be teaching my daughter, who was named after Amelia Earhart, to sit quietly and be pretty. I flatly refuse to teach her that her beauty is her worth.

I believe girls deserve better. I believe we need to change the way we think about our girls. I think girls should be allowed to dream in every color. I think girls should have the freedom to imagine growing up to be a doctor, a race car driver, a pilot, or an astronaut. Or a pirate or knight or dinosaur tamer. Today’s girls are being raised by a generation of women that is the most well educated, most well traveled, most liberated
to ever have walked the earth. But you wouldn’t know it after an afternoon of shopping. Today’s girls are being raised by a generation of men who are hands-on and emotionally intelligent and who now more than ever understand the special role of being a father to a girl.

I raise my girl to be smart, daring, and adventurous. I don’t think those things belong on the “boy side” of the aisle. I simply think they belong right in the middle of childhood.

*Be sure to visit PigtailPals.com and check them out on Facebook and Twitter!*

You are Never as Alone as You Think

2012-01-16T20:01:00.000-05:00

"Nobody gets it."

"You just don't understand."

"I wish you could be me so you would know."

Ever found yourself saying these words? I have. In fact, I have said these things recently. Anyone who has ever found themselves a little (or a lot) down and out has probably said these things before. Sometimes, it is hard to see past what seems to be holding us back, or holding us down.

That's been me the last couple of weeks. I'm not going to go into detail other than saying I have been in a major funk. I've been severely unmotivated, tired, down, and completely out of focus. It hasn't been a great feeling. I'm not used to feeling so lazy, so bummed out, so run down. But not only has it been affecting me, but it has been affecting those around me. Most importantly, my family. I've been in this place before. I've been far worse in this place before. It's uncomfortably familiar.

The worst thing about depression, from my personal experience, is the feeling of being alone. Being trapped inside your own thoughts, dragged down by the weight of your own thoughts and feelings. It clogs the mind. It blinds the soul. It can make it difficult to see that there are ways to accept, then defeat that which seems unbeatable. It makes us oblivious to the fact that no matter how alone we may feel, we are never alone as we may think.

For me, this is a realization that is easier to make as I have grown older, and since the first time I confronted these feelings. It's not easy, it's not smooth, and it's not going away with the snap of a finger. It is something I work through, push through, and stomp the ever loving shiz out of. A little bit at a time, I move forward. The best part? I am not alone. There are others. There are people who have walked these dim streets, are currently walking these streets, and there are people there to hold my hand.

It has not always been so easy to realize this though. There have been times I have held back from reaching out and I only ended up hurting myself in the long run. I know that it is not easy to be willing to open up and admit that things might not be right, or that things are getting out of control. It took a lot of will power that seemed to be lacking at the time. It took the voices of trusted friends and loving family. It took knowing and accepting the fact that I was not alone. And that was my biggest strength.

Why am I writing this? Because I want to be sure that I am not the only one who knows. I don't want to pass up the opportunity to tell someone the same realization I have. You are never as alone as you think. Reaching out is never an easy thing. Speaking out is never an easy thing. And the goal at the end of this race, well, it seems so far off. But there is a goal, there is a way, and there is help.

To those who feel the way I do, please know this. You are NEVER as alone as you may think. There are people like me, like that guy, like that woman, that have been in our shoes and walked these roads as well. No matter what the cause, no matter what you are feeling, you can take comfort in knowing that you are not the only one. There are friends, there is family, there are resources, and there is love. Remember that there is always hope, there is always a way, and you are always in good company.

The Friday Five: The Dude's Top Five Favorite Funky Jams

2012-01-13T11:57:00.000-05:00

If you stop by here on the regular, than you might have noticed that I haven't posted nearly as much in the last few weeks as I normally do. Truth is, I just haven't had the motivation. I've been in kind of a funk, and my focus has been away from here. Sometimes it just happens, and sometimes the focus has to shift. This week though, I just can't seem to get it going again. I seem to have lost my mojo somewhere.

I wanted to get a post up today and could not decide what to write about. I thought about writing about why I am in such a funk and seeing if it helped me out of it. Instead I decided to take a twist to it. Music is always an uplifting source for me. Sometimes it just seems necessary to rock, jam, and dance my way through the day because it keeps me going. Today is Friday, both kids are home with school being cancelled, and I'm going to need a lot of motivation.

To help me out of this funk, The Friday Five returns again this week with The Dude's Top Five Favorite Funky Jams. Yes, even I can get down with the funk. I'm not exactly sure what the funk is by definition, but I can jam to it, so it's all good. Sometimes, it's just good to take it a little old school. Today, push back your chair, turn up those speakers, and to quote Good Morning Vietnam "Let's boogaloo till we puke". The Friday Five presents The Dude's Top Five Favorite Funky Jams! Enjoy and I'll see you on Monday!

Free: The Stairs

2012-01-12T19:37:00.000-05:00

Their eyes stare at me with blank intent. But their focus lands on me with a deadly accuracy.
Consumed by what is in front of them, without a second thought to themselves.
Everyone is looking, but they just can't see.

Their deadly silence makes me wanna take the stairs.
There is a deafening quiet that begs to be shattered.
Their mouths are open, but they just can't sing.

Their hands are outstretched, grasping for anything they can clutch.
Some clenched in rage, others open, calloused, and uninviting.
The reach out, but I hasten my stride.

They will not see me with open eyes.
They will not taste me with a palate of truth.
They will not touch me with the warmth of love and peace.

And so I take the stairs.

Climbing higher than their eyes will see.
My footsteps echoing loudly, floor after floor the sound bounces.
My hands holding fast to the rails to carry me on a balance.

I take the stairs.

From the rooftop I can see it all. It's beauty and majesty laid out before me.
I can scream until my lungs give out. Melody and freedom ring in the foothills.
My hands reach for the warming sun. Bright, inviting and lighting all I see.

And now...

Now I am free.

The Needle

2012-01-10T19:11:00.000-05:00

The needle jumped from groove to groove. Crisscrossing back and forth through the passages left by scratches that were too deep to heal. The music creates its own rhythm, a new beat, playing a sad song that never ends. It will never end.

Until someone lifts the needle.

The photographer sat, distant in thought. The needle resting on the arm of the couch just inches away from its victim's arm. He hasn't been able to leave his plastic and steel companion since the day they met. The color is washed away from his eyes, leaving a black and white portrait of emptiness. Reflective of the photographs that sit scattered on the floor in front of him. He hasn't seen them in the same light in years. He never will again. Never.

Until he lifts that needle away.

He'll never see the beauty that he once saw through the lens. He doesn't remember what life is like outside of the confines of the dormitory. How crystal clear the days were and how you could focus on things with needle point accuracy. Gray is the world. Blurry is his focus. So quiet his thoughts, you could hear a needle drop. Like a thousand pins resonating each in their own tone. Loudly, fiercely, without objection. One at a time they fall. Never again will he hear the life that surrounded his past.

Until he clears he needles out of his mind.

He dreams not of the lands he has traversed. In worn out sandals, torn up jeans, and that one comfortable t-shirt, that bicycle from his youth became the carriage of his life. Viewing the world in ways none can imagine, this artist of sorts pedaled through life, snapping a memory whenever it was practical. They are now the only memories he can recall. Only because he can physically see them. The bicycle sits saddened in the growing weeds. Rusting away in agony and defeat, the tires rot and fall of the frail metal spokes. Now left bare and exposed, and appearing thin in the sunlight. A handful of naked needles all lined up as they were. Hoping, waiting in anticipation. They long to see the road again. But they shall not.

Until someone covers the needles once again.

The edges of the snapshots are sharp. They slit the photographer's fingers as they pass through his palms. Frantically he sifts through them. Each memory recalled piercing his heart like a needle. The dormitory, the bicycle, the lives that waited to show their beauty outside, everything. They cut his soul. Where was that magic? Where was that beauty? Why could he not find it anymore? His mind races. His pulse grows in an intensity that would burst the strongest drum skins. Pulsing in beat with the broken records he screams.

For someone to lift the needle.

iPad App Giveaway: Scooby-Doo from ScrollMotion Kids and Warner Bros.

2012-01-10T08:03:00.002-05:00

ScrollMotion Kids and Warner Bros. are teaming up to bring one of the cartoon genre's most popular group of kids and their dog into the interactive book world of the iPad. "Fall Fright" and "The Apple Thief" both from the "Scooby-Doo You Play Too" interactive book series are available for iPad! Bringing the joy of reading, learning, and creating to kids with the timeless crew from the Scooby-Doo gang, ScrollMotion Kids and Warner Bros. are working together to bring more titles to the interactive book series and provide an app that kids will love, time and time again.

"Fall Fright" and "The Apple Thief" are just two of the titles in the Scooby-Do You Play Too series of interactive books. There are six in all. Each one offering endless amounts of fun and excitement, and promoting creativity and learning. Great characters, great fun, great learning... What more could you ask for out of an app of this nature?

Well, I can tell what more you could want from this post today: FREE APP DOWNLOADS! Oh yeah! Thanks to ScrollMotion Kids, Warner Bros., and Atomic PR, I am offering a free download code for "Fall Fright" and "The Apple Thief" from the Scooby-Doo You Play Too interactive book series. Entering is very, VERY, VERY, simple. Leave a comment and tell me your favorite Scooby-Doo character and why you would love these two free downloads. Easy right? One entry per day please.

The giveaway will run from today through midnight EST on Monday, January 16. I will select and an announce a winner on January 17th. The winner will be notified via email and must respond within 24 hours to claim the prizeGood luck to all who enter!!

You can get more info on "Fall Fright" and "The Apple Thief" and other Scooby-Doo You Play Too books on iTunes or the ScrollMotion Kids website.

About Warner Bros. Consumer Products

Warner Bros. Consumer Products, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company, is one of the leading licensing and retail merchandising organizations in the world.

About ScrollMotion

ScrollMotion is a creative technology company devoted to reshaping how people experience digital information and entertainment. The award-winning ScrollMotion platform powers interactions and communications never before possible, changing the way the world’s biggest companies, including Oprah, Sesame Street, G.E., and Disney deliver content. ScrollMotion believes technology should enable, not dictate, the creative process and offers solutions that help companies create and distribute across digital devices. To find out more, please visit www.scrollmotion.com.

About ScrollMotion Kids

ScrollMotion Kids helps families discover new ways to learn and play, combining your favorite childhood stories with the wonder of digital interactivity. Visit us at www.scrollmotionkids.com.

**Note: SCOOBY-DOO and all related characters and elements are trademarks of and © Hanna-Barbera**

**Disclosure: Atomic PR provided me with the two download codes to pass along to you. I do not own an iPad but know that many of my readers do. There was no compensation received for this. I pass it along to you because I think it is awesome enough to be recognized. I am in no way affiliated with Atomic PR, Warner Bros., or ScrollMotion Kids**

Music Monday and Fatherhood Q&A: Tray Chaney

2012-01-09T08:33:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone and welcome to a very special Music Monday this week! It is my pleasure to be introducing you to a song that is all about what I know best, Fatherhood. Written and performed by the talented Tray Chaney, this song rocks with a fresh beat and a fresh voice in the fight to make being an involved dad a priority for other fathers. Take a listen to the song, peep the video, then we will continue.

Right? RIGHT? "I swear I'd rather die than be labeled as the guy who wasn't around". I think that about sums it up don't you? What really captured me first about this song is that Tray lays it down in a real way that it's not an easy job, but we have to be strong. "Cause if we have kids, then they should have a father." Don't you agree? Children don't just need a male to be there every now and then as a playmate, they need a caring, loving, and involved father.

In this world, there are too many kids growing up without a father, and in a lot of cases, without any kind of positive male involvement at all. Tray lends his talents and his passion to this song as a cry to stand up, and become the real father that all children deserve. In an age where entertainment seems to just take a passing glance at the issues of parenting and the importance of the involvement from both parents, Tray has decided to take a voice, and make that voice heard.

I asked Tray to participate in a Q&A to post along with the video. So here, in his own words, I now introduce you to Tray Chaney as he talks a little about himself, fatherhood, and the video. Everyone give a huge, DaddyYo Dude high five to the writer of this week's Music Monday featured song!

1) Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family - "WELL MY NAME IS TRAY CHANEY PEOPLE KNOW ME AS POOT FROM THE HBO SERIES THE WIRE...I LOVE ACTING ...I LOVE MUSIC...I LOVE WRITING...I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO MY WIFE AYESHA CHANEY FOR 7 YEARS & WE HAVE A 5 YEAR OLD SON NAME MALACHI......"

2) What do you do for a living? I'M AN ARTIST..ALL AROUND ENTERTAINER...

3) Describe your feelings and reaction when finding out you were going to become a dad- WOW I WAS SO EXCITED I NEVER MISSED A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT I TOLD THE WORLD...I MADE SURE MY WIFE WAS IN THE BEST CONDITION POSSIBLE

4) What was your biggest fear of becoming a dad? MY BIGGEST FEAR WAS I DIDNT THINK I WOULD EVER LEARN HOW TO CHANGE DIAPERS LOL

5) What is your greatest success as a dad? TO BE CONSIDERED MY SONS HERO...HE LOOKS UP TO ME IN EVERYWAY....MY WIFE SAYS MALACHI IS A DADDY'S BOY

6) How did the idea behind the song "Fatherhood" come about? I JUST FELT THE NEED TO TOUCH ON A TOPIC THAT TOUCHES OUR SOCIETY..I WANTED TO CHALLENGE FATHERS TO EITHER CONTINUE TO SUPPORT THERE KIDS & FAMILIES & FOR THE FATHERS THAT MAY NOT BE THERE I WANTEDTO ENCOURAGE THEM MORE BECAUSE OUR CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE

7) What do you see as the biggest problem behind children growing up without fathers? THEY FALL VICTIM TO WHAT THIS WORLD HAS TO OFFER ..SEX DRUGS...VIOLENCE OUR KIDS NEED THAT FATHER FIGURE IN THERE LIFE TO TRY TO PREVENT THOSE UNWANTED CIRCUMSTANCES

8) How do you hope to positively impact other fathers and encourage them to be more active in their children's lives? HOPEFULLY THROUGH THE POWERFUL WORDS IN THE FATHERHOOD SONG...IM GOING TO BE GOING ON A NATIONAL SPEAKING TOUR TO UPLIFT & MOTIVATE OUR FATHERS TO TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY

9) In three words or less, sum up the experience of dadhood - LOVE...JOY...INSPIRING

10) Drop us a knowledge bomb. Your greatest piece of advice to new dads - UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR CHILD IS A REFLECTION OF YOU & THEY NEED YOU ...SO SET A GREAT POSITIVE EXAMPLE

Falling

2012-01-09T00:30:00.000-05:00

Falling.

Down... Down... down.

The wind screams by my ears like a chorus of angry chimes.
A convoy of urgency racing past on a mission.

I cannot catch my breath in this fall.
The speed at which the air fills my lungs cannot be measured.
Gasping and grasping, I try to get that one breath with hesitant intent.

I harness the energy to begin a weak inhalation.
In the free fall of a lifetime I turn to face the inevitable.
Heart beating like the footsteps of elephants, I strain to open my eyes.
Wider... Wider... Wider...

In that brief moment of clarity, I came to define the rest of my life.
With that one, strained breath, I found the voice I needed.
With my eyes wider than ever before, I take in all around me.
I turn my soul, my heart, and my mind, over to the higher power.
And with that, I acknowledged, accepted, and embraced that which had me make that jump.

The Friday Five: Five Things You Only Say to Toddlers

2012-01-06T00:30:00.001-05:00

HELLO AND HAPPY FRIDAY!!!! Yes indeed another weekday run is coming to an end. Tonight I will be heading to bed early to get some rest before the long work weekend ahead. As I look back on my days here at home, I look back on a week of pure insanity. Sibling rivalries, thrown toys, time outs, the works. At the same time, I look back at the crazy, funny, and just off the wall stuff going down in this apartment during playtime. I'm talking Party Rockin (including learning the shuffle), silly faces, The Fall Down Game, and various other little playtime quirky activities.

It has been a week for testing patience, and testing my steadfastness in keeping a straight face when it's not quite so easy. So this week, The Friday Five is back with Five Things You Only Say to Toddlers. After our wacky adventures this week I found myself saying some pretty ridiculous things. As always you are invited to pull up a seat and look back with me, and share any funny sayings that may have spewed from your mouth towards your kids this week. And now, on with the show!

Get Batman out of your mouth and the crayon out of your ears - And you would think right off the bat (no pun intended) that the Batman reference would be made towards my son. After all, he is a ninja, Autobot, Batman, Iron Man, and Green Lantern all rolled into one. However, in this particular instance, I was directing my quick command to stand down to Little Girl. I honestly can't tell you how long the crayon had been in her ear. I only noticed when LM screamed "SHE'S EATING MY BATMAN" and look over to see the purple crayon antennae and a soggy Batman in LG's clutches.

Do NOT let me catch you scratching and sniffing the window sill again - It is never considered unusual to find your child doing something... well... just a little bit strange. This week, this strange occurrence, uh, occurred while the kids anxiously looked out of the front window in anticipation of Mommy's arrival home from work. I start hearing what sounds like paint chips screaming as they are ripped to pieces in a vicious genocide. Followed by what sounded like two bullfrogs with nasal congestion, immediately followed by fits of laughter. I approach the window, draw back the curtain, and find the kids scratching at the sill, then smelling it, and saying "Smells DELICIOUS!" and hee-hawing till they puke. My kids are so weird.

No running, no pushing, no hitting, no spitting, no fighting and no booger wiping - One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just isn't the same. All accept for "booger wiping" are common commands handed out to toddlers who want to go play elsewhere in the house. I have no problems with the kids playing elsewhere while I am cleaning or washing dishes. The rules are the rules. But never would I have imagined having to instate the last one, until I found out that "hide them" is now a game. And no, you don't want to know where they were discovered.

Is that a button or the one M&M that made it through- We are in the process of potty training our dear LG. She has not been as easy as her brother. Which really isn't saying much. Still, I find she has been quite the defiant one when it comes to stepping up into the big girl underwear world. During a routine, number two pull-up change, something caught my eye. Something, wasn't quite right. Something was... blue. Obviously there was no injury caused by the foreign object, and it was determined to in fact be a small button. Most likely one of her doll's missing eyes.

Ummm, no. You cannot eat the stuffing from the couch. No it is not salad, No it will not bite. - There is a spot on the back cushion of the couch where the seam has torn, and the stuffing comes out every now and then. The last week, the kids have been playing a lot with the plastic food we got LG for her play kitchen. They have been cooking up a plastic storm. Discovering some of the stuffing from the couch has come out, Little Man turns to me and asks "Can I eat this?" I of course tell him no. He fires back with "But I think it's salad". The usual rhetoric continues. Then he asks "If I don't eat it, will it bite me?". And I lost it. I think it broke his heart a little that Daddy was now laughing right at him, but the thought of being scared of not eating a salad just gasses me.

Now it's your turn. What kind of crazy things have you found yourself saying in the presence of toddlers?

Miles to Go: The Clock

2012-01-04T19:42:00.000-05:00

The clock winked and I nodded in agreement. The time had come to pick back up again and hit the road. I had miles to go this day and the sun would be up and burning before I knew it. Grabbing my knapsack and lunch pail from under the bench, I made my way to the restroom to wash my face off. Bus stations were no place to sleep. All the dirt and grime just settles on your face at night.

I still had a half of a sandwich, bag of chips, and a cookie. This would have to suffice because there would be no stops for me today. I filled my thermos with water from the sink and got ready for my trek. You never really notice how vast the world is until you see it from the ground. Mile upon mile, day after day, crossing state line after state line. This country was enormous. And I had miles to go today.

It's good that I can still remember how to read a map. Just off the freeway on ramp there would be a creek I could follow for quite some time. There wouldn't be much shade, but a few patches of trees I could catch a foot rest at. These shoes had seen seven states. Hundreds and hundreds of miles they have been my carriage. Trusty, worn, and they reminded me of home. So many years it had been. So many days it would be until I was there once more.

Down by the creek bed I walked. A glorious, albeit scorching day. The sound of the water rushing between the banks kept a rhythmic tempo to my footsteps as I traveled. Resting in the shade when I could I was soon using the creek's crystal water to refill my thermos. The food had dwindled down to crumbs as dark approached. Using the faint beams from the moon I found my next destination.

Miles and miles between myself and this morning. My shoes, my carriage, had carried me one more day. I leaned up against the wall of the convenience store and laid down my gear. I took the last drink of water and peered through the window, up to the top of the wall behind the clerk.

The clock winked, and I nodded in agreement. It truly was amazing to see how far just a daylight's hours will carry you. Tired and worn, I sat down on the sidewalk, tipped my hat over my face, and prepared for a night of rest. Soon the light of the sun would be shining. And I have miles to be going in the morning.

Oh, What a Box Can Be

2012-01-04T15:52:00.000-05:00

Oh the places you can go, the people you can be, and what a box can be. It's amazing how just the simple things can bring such joy to a child. A piggyback ride, a high five, a treat of ice cream. And yes, even just a cardboard box. During the holidays, I'm sure many of you had living rooms, dining rooms, kitchens, or maybe the whole house littered with cardboard boxes. Most of the thoughts of those boxes were of the things that were in them. The boxes are usually just pushed aside. But have you ever stopped to think about what a box can be, to a child?

My kids have always loved boxes. I could bring all the boxes home from work after unpacking a truck delivery and we would never need to worry about tantrums for about a week. Hold on, let me make a note to myself ............. Okay, moving on. I have watched cardboard boxes become all kinds of things over the last few years. Amazing what a little imagination can do for the ordinary.

Sock Puppet Theater - Those of you who have followed me long enough know how big of a fan we are of craft time. One of the best uses I ever had for an over sized box was turning it into a sock puppet theater. After making our puppets we cut a window in the box and they put on quite a show! To this day, that box is still in the closet, ready for the next grand performance.

Clubhouse - This one should be pretty obvious, but still one of my best memories of playing with boxes with the kids. After a few deliveries one week, I found myself with an overstock of cardboard boxes. To begin with, the kids both had their own and were playing in separate houses. Then they tried to put them together to make one house. Problem was there were no windows or doors. So off to work we went with the scissors and duct tape. A little while later, we had constructed a playhouse that even I could fit in! Hours of fun were had as they played house, going to work, and "hiding from boogies".

Shield and Sword - The noble knights in the royal house of The Dude of Yo are some seriously skilled knights. Actually, they are more like Autobot, Ninja, Rambo knights. But no knights are complete without a sword and a shield. So what better than using those boxes to cut out swords and shields? Then if you have some leftover, you can build forts and castles. It's totally winning!

Oh what a box can be. So much more than what it seems, and all too often forgotten. What other ideas have you had that you used those old boxes for? How have you made something most excellent out of something most ordinary?

Mrs. Anderson

2012-01-03T21:20:00.000-05:00

She touched the little box in her pocket, and smiled. It was a brisk, colorful autumn day. The wind blew through her hair, waving it around like a thousand strands of silky thread. The crisp breeze and biting chill could not deter the smile that graced her pale face. Her cheeks were carnation pink from the cold, but it did not matter. She felt complete. Happiness? No, happiness would not even begin to describe the feelings that pumped from her heart. This was something much more.

She made her way through the busy sidewalks with a stride that made her walk on air. You could see it among the thousands of faces that played their role in the backdrop to her walk back home. It was such a great distance these days. What used to be a quick trip down the road was becoming a tiresome journey. Still, it was nothing too great for the task that was at hand.

She crossed her last street and made her way to the apartment building doors. Robert, the door attendant, was in his place as usual.

"Ah Mrs. Anderson, I see you have that glow today. Has it already been a year?" he greets her.

Mrs. Anderson blushes and bats her lashes at him.

"Why yes it has, how kind of you to notice. This is the one that matters the most, and I am more than myself now and I can move on. Good to see you today Robert. You take care."

She walks on up the stairs. Only two flights, but it seemed like an eternity. She makes her way down the hall, opens her door, and scurries off into the bedroom. She touched the little box in her pocket and smiled. She pulls it out and opens it up. There the ring was in all of its beauty. Just as it had looked 60 years before to the day. She slides it on her finger.

One tear slides down her cheek, running down her finger before bursting on the ring. She laughs.

"Oh dear, don't you even think it. You always knew what a softy I was for you. I'll be home soon."

She finishes her day with a hot tea and a crossword. She lies down to rest for the night. There in that moment, 60 years later, she greets his embrace with a glistening, new ring.

And they begin their new life together again.

The Hole

2012-01-03T14:40:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I cry. Just sometimes, not all of the time. I cry. Sometimes for no reason. Just sometimes, not all of the time.

I look up and the light at the top gets smaller and dimmer. The rungs of the ladder are broken and sawed in the middle. Down… down… down. Is there a bottom to this hole or does it go on forever? I don’t know, I can't find my flashlight.

This backpack is just too much. The weight is too much to carry. And farther and farther down I slip. The light is getting smaller.

I called out to God but I don’t think he heard me. I don’t think he gets good reception, or maybe the hole is blocking my signal. Either way, there is no answer, so to hell with it I go. Looks like that’s the direction I am going anyway.

Anger, rage, hate, sadness, fear, and severance of ties between feelings and logic. Sometimes thinking is the only way to go.

Feelings can change you. Logic is the same. Screw the world, feed it beans. In fact, give it cold spam with scorched Bush’s. Let it have a bite of the sandwich I’ve been chewing on. Hope it makes you sick.

Cold and lonely, the hole as engulfed me now. There is no light up or down. I can’t feel the next step below me. Wonder if I’m supposed to let go now?

Hanging on with white knuckles and losing my grip.

This is getting tiring. My brain hurts, my hands hurt, and I just need a joint.

The hell of this reality is that it never ends. I may make it back towards the top at some point, but I am always going to slip back down.

Always down

Down

down

The light comes and goes then comes again then extinguishes. It makes no sense. I make no sense, none of this makes any sense.

I found my flashlight. It was in my back pocket. Just couldn’t feel my ass from the cold. That’s all.

Hey look, the light is back, but I don’t put any stock in it staying. For now it’s company at least. It makes the whole hole familiar and home again. I’ll save the joint for later.

For now, it’s back to climbing. Maybe this super glue will put the rungs back together and I can make it a little further this time.

Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

2011: The Year I Choose to Remember

2011-12-30T09:46:00.000-05:00

The way we chronicle the past can be important in my opinion. Though, it is my belief that looking back on the past is just watching life from afar, it's those moments that we look back to that become a part of who we are to ourselves. You see, we can choose to focus on one memory or another. I know for myself, there are a million plus memories of 2011 that I can choose from. But it's exactly what I choose that will define how I remember my life for that year.

So as the new year rolls around, I take one final look back at the year 2011. I filter through all of the memories of this last year and decide on the final ones that I will choose to define my life during the last 365 days. Today, I invite you to join me as I look back at the last year and define it by the memories I choose to hold on to. I also invite you to define how you will remember 2011 by sharing your memories in the comments below. Think of it as your time capsule entry for this year. Years from now, what will you be remembering about the year 2011? For me, I will remember:

Taking on a manager position at work: At the very beginning of the year, I took on a manager role at the restaurant I work in. It started with working shifts with another manager part-time, and cooking part-time, then later developed into a full time manager role. While I am no longer doing this, I am glad that I was given the opportunity to do so, and can now work in the position I'm in with a greater knowledge of our business as a whole.

The Wifey graduates college: After two semesters of distance courses, 2 courses at the college, an internship, on top of being a SAHM, my wife earned her certification as a Pharmacy Technician, and would later on make her state board. Studying some of the most intense vocabulary lists I have ever seen, math that would make a TI-83 want to puke, and knowing everything there was to know about everything down to what's in Midol, she did it. She went back to school, and she pushed on through. Now, she is employed full-time and making a wonderful worker at her job. Couldn't be prouder!

The longest work week ever - In just 7 days back in the fall, I clocked 92 hours at work. If only they had all been on the same paycheck (our pay week runs Wed-Tue). I still have the time slip at home showing my hours between Sunday and Saturday. Our kitchen staffing numbers dropped to just five of us. We worked intense hours during an intensely short-handed time. Even during my stint as a factory worker I never worked that many hours in such a short time span. I was physically in pain, mentally drained, and emotionally blank. I promptly took my vacation soon after.

Little Man goes to big boy school - Oh yeah, this year Little Man started at the primary school in town. After one year in the head start program, he headed off to his new "big boy school" with pride in his chest and a smile on his face. Suddenly, I saw my son in a different life. With no fear of being gone away from us all day for the first time, my little dude was walking with a proud stride because he was now a big boy. What happened to that sweet little angel that used to let me rock him to sleep listening to Weezer? Well, that's him. Four years old going on adulthood. I guess he isn't so little anymore.

The Big Change - After four years as the working parent, and four years of my wife being an at-home mom, everything changed. With The Wifey's new job starting, we watched the parental roles in our house change in an instant. Now, she works Mon-Fri while I stay home with the kids. I work part-time on the weekends. Four years of doing things the same way were put into the history books and we both opened new chapters in our lives. Has it been easy? No, not exactly. Will it be an event to remember? You bet!

There are thousands of other memories I will recall when thinking about 2011. But these, these are how I define the year that now was. How will you define the last year come 12:01 am Sunday morning?

News of the Weird: Tall Toddler Tales

2011-12-27T19:44:00.000-05:00

Kids come up with the craziest stories sometimes. And I'm not talking the Bill Cosby show. I'm talking a full feature, no restrictions, Paramount Studios production script. Kids have this ability to use their growing vocabulary in ways you would only expect from directors like Tim Burton or Kevin Smith.

My little munchkins are no exception to this. In fact, I one time told Bartimus Prime that Little Man was going to be his generation's Tim Burton. Little Girl of course is in the stage of intently studying everything her brother does and says. Partially to learn more herself, but mostly to learn his weaknesses and exploit them. However, the two of them together could produce a comedy storytelling hour that would bring in some mad Benjamins.

I'm not sure where this ability comes from. I'm sure if you ask my parents they will tell you I was the same way at that age. But there are times when these random, so far out conversations and stories come out, that I walk away confused, discombobulated, and feeling almost defeated. I know I'm not the world's smartest man, but I do have a pretty large vocabulary, and a vast imagination. But even I cannot construct such crafty stories as some of the ones I share below. To me, I know they are just full of diaper chocolate, but I'm sure, to any other toddler, it's probably the coolest things that could ever happen. The following are a few transcripts of such occasions where the only answer I had was "Ohhhhhhhkaaaaaaayyyyyy".

Little Man: We have to play in our rooms for five minutes, because then, we will go to bed, and Optimus Prime will come in here. In my house. Optimus will. Because then when I was big, like you, I was five years old, and when I was little, I was a girl, but not like sissy, like mommy. Then Optimus will come in my room and he'll say "I am Optimus Prime!" and I will give him a hug, then he will punch Joker in the face. That's what Optimus does.

Little Girl: I fell. I was on the stairs and I fell like that. On my face. My toe hurts. Bubba is at school, but he pushed me. Down the stairs. Like this... UGH... and I hurt my leg. See? SEE? Right there, on my arm. It hurts. I want CHEESIES!

Little Man: I was at school, and (name removed for privacy) pushed me, and I fell on the grass. Then I told my teacher and she said (name removed) wouldn't get any presents from Santa Claus. But I will, cause I'm a good boy. Like Batman. Batman is big, like you. Kind of. Kind of like me. I'm bigger and bigger. Like this big, but not a lot. And if you don't listen to what your mommy and daddy tell you, they will take your presents and give them to someone else. That's what your mommy says. That's what I told her.

Little Girl: You're a silly Goose. Me: Am I really? LG: Yeah. You scare me. Silly scare me. Me: Silly scare you? LG: Yeah, like mommy does. Like this. On my nose. Ewwwww. There's snot! Give me a nosey. Me: I'll pass, thanks. LG: You're welcome Daddy!

As I said before, I believe Little Man is destined to be the Tim Burton style director of his generation. Maybe not quite so much like acid trips gone 1/3 cartoon, 1/3 live action, 1/3 claymation. But maybe more like action/sci-fi/robot/zombie/thriller style. It will be the biggest box office hit ever, I guarantee that. Little Girl, well, she will probably be a spin artist of some kind judging her ability to quickly change the subject and pass the blame of everything, including farts, on to someone else.

Out of the mouths of kids, comes absolute hubbabaloo. It's funny, it's entertaining, it's confusing, and sometimes it can be downright annoying. But it will be great blackmail come time for a wedding reception speech. Cause you know, Daddy is a good story teller too. And my recollection of these events is crystal clear and true :)

This Means War

2011-12-26T21:48:00.000-05:00

Switching roles withing the home can always be a stressful thing. Routines change, attitude changes, life in general, changes. Here, this took place about two months ago when, after five years of stay-at-home-momdom, my wife returned to the work force. For me, this meant knocking back the hours at my job. From up to 50 hours a week, to only Saturday and Sunday. And I took on the role of the primary caregiver.

Now, I stay at home with the kids Monday through Friday, then work part time on the weekends. When the change first happened I was all like "Whoah yeah! This is going to be effin MINT!". I have now quickly come to learn that this is actually quite a tough job.

For the last four years, I have been the breadwinner in the house. Being the soul source of income and working anywhere from gas stations to restaurants, and even an assembly factory that made lead/acid batteries for cars. I have missed a lot in the early years of the kids' lives. First birthdays, first birthday parties, first steps, and first words. I am more used to working long hours and seeing my kids only an hour a day for a few days at a time. Why wouldn't I have jumped for joy when I found out I would be home more often?

What I wasn't prepared for was how different reality was from what I thought it would be. More so, I wasn't prepared for the strain it would put on all of us. My wife had been home for four years with the kids, and was now just walking right back into a 40 hour a week job. It wasn't easy for her to leave the kids at home and just head on off. Two months later, she is still heartbroken when it is time to go to work. The dynamics of what we thought, vs the reality of what is, has no doubt caused strain on us both, and our relationship.

I think we can both agree on the fact that both of us are stressed out and stretched for time to really sit down and talk. If it's not one thing, there is always another going on. And these days it seems time together is more of a stranger than a friend. Which I guess should be expected anytime you have kids. But this lack of time, the new roles, new responsibilities have caused their fair share of stress and finding agreeing ground seems to be getting harder every week.

So what do we do? I've seen a million posts on "finding that spark again" or "holding on to true romance after kids" but they are usually written by "love professionals" which means they are illusions of a single person. Well, maybe not, but that's how they come across. In any way, it's not what I want to be hearing. It's not really a case of being wrong or being right, but a case of being understood. And in that, I do mean I need to learn to understand her more as well.

I don't know if this post is really going anywhere or not, or if it is more just to put that out there. Surely, there is someone who is going through the same thing and can relate. I know we don't walk these paths alone so someone else out there has their own take. Is this a situation you have run into? Is there a bitterness you have encountered as roles in the home change?

I'm sure that as we adjust more to the change, then we will get a clearer understanding of the picture in general, and life will be more grand than ever. I'm sure I will be thinking on this as the new year rolls around and I'm sure it will become a goal for the next year. How can I make the best of the change, overcome the worst of the change, and make the change the change we need? Thinking time indeed.

Midnight on a Quiet City Street

2011-12-26T13:31:00.000-05:00

At the pace of a hurried and frantic child, she raced down the sidewalk. Midnight on a quiet city street. The echoes of her footsteps shattered the silence with a sharp staccato, like quiet shots being fired into the dark. In some ways, she knew this was her final shot in the dark. It was now or never.

As she rushed along, her mind was filling with thought after thought. "Is this it?" "Could it really be"?" "Am I sure?". The dangers of a questioning mind are far too often ignored. But so are the benefits. Racing through every possible scenario, every possible outcome, every possible action and reaction. It was a race against time, a race against herself. She knew that the side effects of this medicine would not be pleasurable, but would have a much desired outcome. Heart racing, she approaches the stoop.

There, he sat. Head down to his knees in a heavy sob, he sat. Midnight on a quiet street, her footsteps were echoing in his ears for what seemed like an eternity. Louder, Louder, LOUDER. The sounds drowning out thought like the beat of tribal burial drums. The ends was near, he was sure of it. Yet, there was still time for one final stand.

She approached him in a manner so direct, that an arrow couldn't pierce the air with more intent. Midnight and some minutes on a quiet city street, and the silence is shattered to its core. She curses him, damns him. A verbal assault that could shake the prophets. With every ounce of her heart she allows the pieces of what's left to burn to ash under the fire of determination.

In his last stand he shows his true color. Anger, hate, rage, and destruction. He attacks. With his final breaths, he unleashes his full fury upon her. Stabbing at her with a blunt knife of truth, he makes his final attempt to pierce her through to her heart. "The finale" he thought as he struck her back from the stoop. "This is where I get through".

But she was more prepared for battle than ever before. One blow with a strong left hook and he dropped to the ground. She raised the barrel of the .45 and put it to his temple. Midnight and some minutes on a quiet city street, and there was a POP and then a deadly silence. There on that street, she would lie him down one last time. In a pool of blood, his body lay motionless, lifeless, the way she had wanted for so long now.

She rips her clothes off and with a barbaric yell, she screams at him one last time. As if to show herself not of bare skin and flesh, but as a soul who had finally sought its freedom. She yells of freedom, joy, and happiness. An hour past midnight on a quiet city street, she walks home. She sings her battle song of victory. Home she trots, free of the one who had held her back. Down the sidewalk she marches toward a new path. Selfish as the act had been, she knew it was the only way.

No more fear, no more self hate. The past would not hold her down anymore. Midnight on a quiet city street, she decided that enough was enough. Now the silence was a welcoming tone as she lie down, ready to see the next day, without a living burden.

Christmas Gift

2011-12-25T00:00:00.003-05:00

Dear Santa: Love, The Dude

2011-12-23T22:39:00.000-05:00

Dear Santa: The Dude here! How goes things? You like the beard crafts that I made with the kids? Man, that was fun. Anyways, I just figured I would drop you a line before I head off to work in the morning. Working on Christmas Eve is kind of a bummer, but I've done it a few years now. We'll be out with plenty of time to open presents with the kids before we head off to bed, in anticipation of your arrival.

I wanted to check in on my naughty or nice status this year. I'm not trying to peek or anything, just trying to be prepared in case I need to step up my game in front of the kids. They are both so excited they can't stand themselves, and I can't take that away from them.

I know I haven't been perfect this year. I mean, is anyone really perfect? Maybe I could have tried a little bit harder. But I promise to try extra hard the next year. You're gonna be impressed I swear. In case I do make it on the nice list, I wanted to take a moment to unload a few wishes on ya if you don't mind.

As you probably know, this ole computer here is not in the best of shape. I was really hoping to start doing some new things out here in the blogging world next year, and I have been pretty pumped about it. I don't have to have a fancy Mac Book Air Pro Glider Rocker Multimedia Extravaganza! or anything like that. Just something more reliable and portable. Plus, being able to watch movies on the floor with the kids again would be really rad. Being home more, I could utilize such technology for many things.

My car is acting up again. We've narrowed it down to a sensor or a fuel pump. Both are kind of expensive so getting it fixed is going to take a payday dent coming up soon. Think you could drop off a gift card to an auto parts store? I could take the hit on paying the labor. I don't know if Advanced or Auto Zone or some of those places have gift cards, I'm not sure. Just thought it would be cool.

Last, I would like to get the wife a new wedding band. Neither one of us have one anymore, and it makes me kind of sad. Mine doesn't really matter (unless you want to throw in a set) but would love to see a new one on her finger. I think it might brighten her smile just a tad.

Anyhoos, I'll let you run now. I just saw on @OfficialSanta that it's Christmas Eve in Europe now, so I know you're about to be a busy man so I'll let you go now. Thanks for taking the time to read my letter. Have a safe sleigh ride tonight, give my regards to the missus, and pet the reindeer for me. Take care bro!

The Dude Abides

**I still have time to attach some short notes. Come on, be a kid for a moment, and attach your Santa wish in the comments below. It will be fun, I promise. Merry Christmas to you all!**

2011: Year in Rear View

2011-12-22T14:14:00.000-05:00

The purpose of a rear view mirror is so you can see a little bit of what is behind you. Which is a good thing if you are going backwards. But what about moving forward? Other than watching what is sneaking up behind you, what purpose does it serve?

I ponder this as I look back on the last year. 2011 has brought me to many points, many crossings. A year of extreme joy, extreme stress. A year packed full of so many memories my mind can barely contain them all. I look at 2011 through the rear view mirror as I drive on in to the upcoming year.

For me, there is only one purpose in using my rear view mirror as the new year approaches. All of the experiences of the last year are already behind me, and I don't plan on time travelling backwards anytime soon. So what purpose does this mirror serve? Well, looking back on what has already passed is a good way of seeing the things you have an opportunity to improve on the next time you come upon them.

The new year always offers the promise of hope and progress. The chance that better days are on the way. A fresh start. To me, a new year doesn't offer too much difference than the year I just passed. New Year's Day doesn't bring around a suddenly renewed heart and outlook on life. I believe that is a decision we can make upon any morning we are blessed to awaken to. But the spirit of hope and new beginnings drives me to think harder this time of year.

I have seen myself as many different people in the last year. I've been the good guy, I've been the bad guy. Up, down, and all around. Here, there, and everywhere. I have been the person I need to be, and the last person I need to be. 2011 showed me what job dedication was, what family dedication was. It showed me how to endure the tough, and ride out the easy. The last year has been one of an educating and inspiring nature.

So as I put the pedal to the medal and cruise on into the new year, I look back in the mirror, adjust it a little, then smile. I watch the past as it fades into the center, a tiny dot against a vast background, then turn my eyes back to the road. I know there are many things for me to improve on. Many things for me to grow up to, and many ways that I can improve my life, and the lives of those in my life. The rear view is nothing but memory now.

Let the engine run, burning on hope, determination, and progress. Windows down, top back, cares to the aerodynamics. Let the engine purr as the tires squeal, and we accelerate into a new year. 2011 is now in the rear view, and is quickly disappearing. No time to look back, only time to keep eyes on the road, looking for the next proper exit.

Craft Time with The Dude: Santa Claus Beard Craft

2011-12-21T12:12:00.000-05:00

Craft Time with The Dude returns once again! Being so close to Christmas, and with the kids all buzzing about Santa Claus coming to bring presents to their big boots (stockings) I figured this cold, rainy day would be a great day for a Christmas related craft time with the kids. Today I bring you a simple craft, perfect if you have family with young children coming in for the holidays. Easy, cheap, and quick, this Santa Claus beard craft is sure to be a hit!

Needed Supplies

Paper Plates (note: we used styrofoam plates, which I do not recommend, but it was all I had)

Elmer's Glue

Cotton Balls

String or Popsicle Sticks (not shown)

Scissors

Directions

1) Fold the paper plate in half. Cut the paper plate in half. Depending on the confidence level you have about your children using scissors, let them cut it. Always makes a craft more fun if the kids can do more to help create it.

2) Cut out and opening for the mouth. I held the plate up to their faces, and used a crayon to lightly mark where the mouth was. Helped in making sure the finished craft would be a good fit.

3) Glue cotton balls to the plate. You can use a lot for a full beard, a little bit for less fuzz to fly around. We even stretched a cotton ball out for the moustache and curled it up. Let the kids have fun with this part. (hint: it's also fun to have "snowball fights" with remaining cotton balls. Some later

cleaning required)

4) After the glue has dried, there are two options for finishing the craft. The easiest (both to make and for the kids to use) is attaching two popsicle sticks, side by side, to the bottom of the beard. The other option is to poke holes in either side, just big enough to put the yarn through, then measuring the yarn to provide a snug, but breathable fit to the child's chin. We went with the popsicle stick idea.

And there you have it! A fun, simple, great for all ages craft just in time for Christmas. You can't think about Santa without thinking about the gigantic white manly beard he sports. I mean, I know a thing or two about growing a good beard, but ole St. Nick has got me beat hands down! Thanks for joining me for this edition of "Craft Time with The Dude". Happy Holidays to you all! HO! HO! HO!

Bent but Not Broken: Bloggers and Hurricane Hugo

2011-12-20T22:20:00.000-05:00

I am a South Carolina native. Not sure how many of you knew that. Born and raised just outside of the capitol city of Columbia for the first 22 years of my life. I will always call it home because our family is deeply rooted in the state. Going back generation, after generation, after generation. I have a lot of family memories from growing up in the palmetto state. One memory I will never forget, is when hurricane Hugo came blasting through the state, September 21st, 1989. I was six years old.

One of the slogans you heard a lot after the hurricane, was "Bent but Not Broken". There were t-shirts that depicted the South Carolina state flag, with a bent palmetto tree, and the hurricane replacing the crescent moon on the flag. Underneath it was that slogan. A great way of showing the state's solidarity and determination to band together and come back stronger than ever.

Now, I know at this point, a lot of you are wondering "Okay, great and all, but where in this post do you start talking about bloggers?" Well, that point would be now.

Recently, there has been a stir among the parenting blogger world. A ripple effect, caused by the harmful words, and selfish actions of another person. Someone has decided, for whatever reason, that the gift of prophecy is going to empower them to disrupt the relationships between bloggers and brands, bloggers and other bloggers. Such a ripple in fact, that I even saw an article in the "Momcrunch" blog on Babble. I don't know what the motives are, and I'm not here to really speculate on that. But I am here to say this:

I don't know this person, I don't know they have tried to bring me in to their mess, and frankly, I wouldn't care if they did. I don't make enough at this to justify any further action than this post. But I do know people who could be greatly affected by such selfish, and unbecoming behavior. These are not a bunch of people sitting around and fiddle farting on the net. These are real people, with real families, real children, real spouses. They are people who dedicate time to their passion, to their craft of blogging. Some of them, even support their bills from it. Disrupting them, is disrupting someone's family.

Know this: There is strength in numbers, and power in voices. This is not a community that gives up. This is a community that bands together. Apart we are many, but together we are one. We will not give in, will not retreat, and will not turn away from the passion that brings us all here. The community of bloggers that I have come to know, is a community that is not easily shattered by such things. They can push and they can shove. We may bend, but we will never break.

My hope is that those who have been affected, will push on determined. Never breaking their passion out of anger or hate. To those who have not been affected, my hope is that we will show that we can stand together, for those who share our passion. These are not just other people on the internet. Many of you know each other personally, and have strong friendships. We owe it to the bonds that bind us to be a voice against anger and spite. Rise above what is being thrown, and hit the ground running all the way. Bullies are bullies. But we are not. We are better than that.

Bent, but not broken.

Life Lessons: Guest Post by Amber

2011-12-19T14:03:00.000-05:00

It's my pleasure to welcome a new guest writer to the blog today. Okay, so she might not be a blogger, but it's an honor to welcome my good friend Amber to the blog today. Amber is a mom to 2 and a co-worker of mine. Writing today about life lessons and the importance of our children learning these things from their parents. Give a nice warm welcome to Amber, and today's guest post "Life Lessons"

When we find out that we are going to be parents, it is exciting, yet terrifying. As those of you with children know, these emotions will follow you in the parenting aspect, for the rest of your days. The ride is different for everyone. I can promise you this, at times you will know the feeling of pure joy, and at other times, you will want to lock yourself in a closet that holds a lifetime supply of caffeine and anti-anxiety medication.

Recently, I have been thinking about the Holiday Season, and parents scrambling to find every gift on their children's lists. You and I both know, that excitement will go down in flames before Santa can digest all of those cookies. We still do it to see those smiling faces. From the day they are born, we promise to protect them and give all they could want or need. We have an idea of the future, we expect a fairy tale. I'm still not sure which fairy tale. The ones I remember abruptly end when the fair maiden gets her prince. I still have yet to see that little animated blue bird sitting atop my windowsill. Go figure!

We have gotten so enveloped in giving our kids what they want, we lost sight of some of the things they need. Our mentality on certain parenting skills needs to travel back in time a few decades. At some point, we forgot we are not raising kids, but developing adults. We have only a few short years to turn our kids into well adjusted, self-sufficient, respectable adults. No pressure! I look at my kids and others everyday and I am amazed by their magical minds and innocent views. I also know something they don't, and that is how hard it is to be all grown up and trying to provide a good life.

These lessons should start when our kids are very young. As a toddler, learning to share. Expressing feelings through words and not physicality, compromise, manners, and respect for others, during early school years. Throughout high school, the value of putting time and work toward achieving goals. Learning good relationship skills, and responsibility of money ( no, it doesn't just appear on those cards), operating heavy machinery ( for the sake of your insurance premium), and compassion. These are all learned through parental modeling, and explanations for their importance. We've gotten lazy and don't take enough time to be role models. The opportunities to teach surround us everyday.

Example, when my 11 year old daughter wanted to pimp me out to the Verizon salesman, so she could, and I quote, "get a sweet deal on an ipad." Funny, but she went to mom school that day.

My heart broke a little last week as I was heading into my doctor's office. I could see ahead of me an elderly man moving slowly toward the entrance, despite the help of his wooden cane. I could also see a young man, about 17, walking toward the doors from inside the building. I kept my eyes on those doors, wondering, hoping. What happened next wasn't what I was wishing for. The young man shot out of that door nearly knocking the old man to the ground. There was no pardon me, I'm sorry, or any attempt to hold that door open, which I'm sure to that poor man seemed to weigh a ton. I wondered what the elderly man was thinking, how he must have felt. My eyes teared up, first from the sheer lack of respect that was shown, secondly, my mind traveled to my grandfather, and then because I thought of my own son. I can assure you 100%, if that had been my son, this event would have played out much differently.

I know whether or not my son is in my presence, if I am his arch nemesis at the time or not, the values, morals, and manners I have instilled in him over the past 16 years, will show their face in these situations. I know this to be true because when I talk to the people my son interacts with on a regular basis, I listen for THE WORDS: he is the most well mannered, respectful young man. A very hard worker. He does anything asked, without argument, never complaining. These are the words that mean the most to me.

School lessons are important, but as parents, it is our responsibility our duty, to give the life lessons our children need. I am so proud of the individuals my children are becoming. I am confident I am giving them the tools they need to succeed in life. Put down the gifts for a second and teach a life lesson. Tis better to give than receive. I challenge all parents to recognize those opportunities and teach your children to be better people. That elderly person may be you one day. How would it make you feel?

Twas the Post Before Christmas

2011-12-16T16:19:00.000-05:00

Twas the post before Christmas, and all through the house

The children were running, and getting away quicker than a mouse.

The stockings were hung by thumbtacks in the wall,

Under the hopes that under the weight, they would not fall.

The children were not listening, not a bit that day,

Too busy trying to sneak into the presents so with them, they could play.

With mamma at work, and I stuck in Barney hell.

I hoped with all my might, that this day would end well.

When there in the dining room, there rose such a clatter,

I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.

Finding Little Girl sitting on top of her brother's head,

I started wishing harder that it was time for them to go to bed.

As we shuffled on upstairs, later in the eve

Little Man threw himself on me, with a sigh and a heave.

"I love you daddy" he said with a yawn

And I gave him a hug, like a bear, really strong.

Then I turned to LG with a sad puppy dog face and eyes

I just knew she wouldn't resist, as she saddled up by my side.

The flowing blonde hair and sleepy baby blues,

Looked at me gently with a soft spoken "I love you"

The night was at end, and it was time to hit the couch.

I slid down on the cushions, and sat there in a slouch.

What a week it had been, with a few new gray hairs in the beard.

It was time to cozy up to the laptop with a snack and a beer.

As I typed away slowly my eyes started to feel heavy.

Well at 1am I guess I should have been in bed already.

I sign out of my blog and fire off one more tweet

Happy Holidays to all, I'm taking a break this week.

I'll catch you on Twitter, or Facebook, or something like that

We'll converse through the interweb, and we'll have a good chat.

Happy Holidays to my readers, and to all of you a high five.

Thank you for everything. The Dude Abides

Lone Star Raising the Bar with Children's Miracle Network

2011-12-16T08:13:00.001-05:00

With the holiday season in full gear, there should be an ever present reminder that December is a month for celebration, joy and a time for family and loved ones. It is a time for sharing, and a time for giving to others. For Lone Star Steakhouse, the month marks a milestone that reflects the season’s sentiments.

This December, Lone Star guests will have the opportunity to help raise funds for Children’s Miracle Network. Guests can donate to Children’s Miracle Network at Lone Star and any donation over $1 will receive a FREE appetizer coupon for a future visit in January.

Lone Star launched the “Miracle Cake” program in March to donate a portion of the proceeds from the sales of their Triple Chocolate Miracle Cake to Children’s Miracle Network. Through the sale of their cake, the organization reached their original fundraising goal of $100,000 and is rededicating their commitment to Children’s Miracle Network by setting a goal to raise an additional $100,000 during December.

The funds raised in local restaurants stay in those communities benefiting the nearest Children’s Miracle Network Hospital funding medical care, research and education that saves and improves the lives of the 17 million children treated each year.

*For more information on Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals please visit CMNHospitals.org.

Typical: A DaddyYo Cartoon

2011-12-14T22:11:00.000-05:00

The Sound of Hearts Dropping

2011-12-14T18:42:00.000-05:00

Today I faced one of my many fears about being a dad. Today, my heart dropped, time stopped, and I was gripped within the hold of this fear. Today, I might have come the closest to crapping myself since I was close to Little Man's age.

Little Man gets off the bus at the entrance to our apartment complex. Not too long of a walk from our apartment. At least not to me. To a 4yo it might be something altogether an adventure and trek of sorts. There is a close selection of 4 people who pick LM up when he gets off the bus. If the weather is good, myself and LG will walk down and then we all walk back. If The Wifey has her lunch break at that time, she picks him up in the car to spend a brief moment with him before going back to work. If the first two scenarios aren't possible, two good friends of ours pick him up when they pick up their daughter, and they drive back to the apartment.

Today, the latter of those choices should have taken place. I watched out of my window to see his ride slowly coming up the road. As we always do, LG and I went outside to wait on him. Then the ride pulled in, and LM wasn't with him. ::Heart Drops:: Before he could even say anything to me, my mind was racing full of all the worst scenarios and what I was going to do next. The friend of mine got out of his car and quickly pointed out where LM was.

The little dude was asked by another girl on the bus to walk with her as she lives in the building directly in front of us. This in itself is not a bad thing. Little Man obliged and when he was asked to get in the car to come home, he said no, and continued on his way. My friend drove right next to them until they were in sight of me, then he pulled in to tell me. It's a small apartment complex and would have been hard for anything serious to have happened with all the kids and parents coming our way from the bus stop.

But the fact that he disobeyed what he had been told to do, and the fact that while it may be hard, it's not impossible for something to have happened. We all have read and heard stories and almost all of them include the phrase "It happened so fast". The fact that he is home, he is safe, and he was guarded is a blessing. And really, that's what matters at this point in the evening. Still, we had to have a talk.

Despite his best attempts to avoid eye contact, change the subject, and trying to laugh his way out of the situation, I directed his attention on me. We sat on the couch together and I proceeded to talk to him about why he has to listen to what he is told to do. We talked about the word dangerous and that disobeying us could be dangerous in that situation. We talked about strangers and what we do if there is stranger danger (sorry I couldn't resist using that rhyme in this post). We came to an understanding of what he can and cannot do when he gets off the bus, and went about our afternoon.

I hope that I was able to truly get him to understand the dangers, and why daddy was so scared. I hope he knew that I was angry, but only because of my fear, and that his disobedience does have ramifications. I don't know if I got through or not. With the attention span of a fruit gnat, it wasn't hard for him to move from "the talk" on to playing Optimus Prime with paper towel rolls on his arms as cannons. Mainly, I hope he knew that the discussion was necessary and that my fear was based out of my upmost love for him.

Toddlers are strange beings. Never before would I have ever dreamed of him going on his own without a trusted friend or his parents right by his side. But then again, he is a growing young man. And this is a great warning to me that he is seeking a certain independence and control of his life. At least he is not trying to sneak out with the car yet. And an ever present reminder that fear is a part of this thing we call dadhood. A fear based on a strong love. In the end, I guess I have been reminded of how human I am, and how real this love is.

DaddyYo's 12 Days of Christmas

2011-12-13T21:23:00.000-05:00

Ah yes, as the holiday season is in full swing, it is that time of year that we run around everywhere in desperation trying to escape the holiday muzak being played in every shopping mall and restaurant in the country. Where I work is no exception. If I have to here the "Ay ay ay it's Christmas" song one more time, I will destroy the amp in the office and the kitchen will sing a capella for the guests in the dining room. Seriously, there is only so much of that crap I can take.

One of the most played, and one of the most known, little tunes about Christmas is of course "The Twelve Days of Christmas". Everyone knows this little ditty and I'm sure everyone also knows a knock off version as well. So, in the spirit of Christmas, and the spirit of the song that will not get out of my head and cannot be escaped from anywhere in a public setting, I decided to write lyrics for my own version. If you want the full effect you can even click play below and listen to the tune while you read it. I chose to not have it start automatically just I wouldn't have to hear it myself. But if you are so inclined, then help yourself. Enjoy!

DaddyYo's Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
All three Back to the Future movies on DVD.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two brand new oven mits,
and all three Back to the Future movies on DVD.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three different types cologne,
two brand new oven mits,
and all three Back to the Future movies on DVD

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Four matching socks
Three different types of cologne,
two brand new oven mits
and all three Back to the Future movies on DVD

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Five minutes of absolute no screaming from the kids
Four matching socks
This is getting monotonous
I think you get the point
maybe we should just watch Back to the Future on DVD

Skipping to the twelfth day my true love gave to me
Twelve dollars to go hang with the guys on
Eleven reasons that I shouldn't go
Ten minutes to change my mind
Nine items to pick up at the store while I was out
Eight kisses for just deciding not to go
Seven movies that we could watch instead
Six of which did not count
Five minutes of silence to feel sorry for myself
Four other movies to choose from
Three scoops of ice cream
Two kids off to bed
And I got to watch Back to the Future on DVD

The Couch Talk: A DaddyYo Cartoon

2011-12-13T14:43:00.000-05:00

The Obvious: A DaddyYo Cartoon

2011-12-13T12:52:00.001-05:00

Where the Sidewalk REALLY Ends: Retelling a Classic

2011-12-12T22:39:00.000-05:00

*So I decided to do something a little different, and something I thought would be wicked fun. So today, I have decided to take one of my favorite poems by the epic Shel Silverstein, "Where the Sidewalk Ends" and retell it from a different perspective. To me, this poem represents taking ourselves out of this crazy world we live in, and immersing ourselves in the lives of our children, and spending time in the world they live in.

A child's world is one of magic and mystery. How often I long to have that once again. But, as a dad, and sometimes stressed by the screaming, hitting, spitting, and tantrums, this is how the other view of the sidewalk would look. Enjoy!

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the insanity sets in,
And there the grass is raked out by my dragging feet,
And there the sun burns my eyes because I need sleep,
And there the moon-bird won't shut up at 2am
Or blow away from my window in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where my hair turns gray
And the day's activities make me feel like I have the bends.
Past the pits from the peaches that the kids scattered all on the floor.
We shall walk with a walk that is not in a chasing motion,
And watch where the sidewalk chalk isn't crushed into dust.
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is a much slower place,
And there won't be sidewalk chalk all over the kids' faces,
For the children, they know, when the parents are about to blow,
The place where the sidewalk ends.

Bucket List Pitch to the New York Times

2011-12-12T15:52:00.000-05:00

To the New York Times:

As a blogger, it is always a hope to, one day, have my content printed in a well known publication. As an aspiring freelance writer, it is a hope to be able to gain experience and exposure that will help me in the long run. As someone who values life, and the short time we are given, it is my hope that I can make both of these hopes go from dreams to reality, and write something that is published in the New York Times.

Why do I choose this specific publication? 106 Pulitzer Prize awards and over 30 million unique visitors to the website. There is definite volume in numbers here. Regarded as one of the highest read news publications of all time, the New York Times has always been the holy grail of places I would like to see my name printed. "All the news that is fit to print" and I am hoping, that even just a small article with my name and picture, will one day fit under that slogan.

I am ferociously passionate about my role as a dad and husband. I am ferociously passionate about writing, about reading, about discussion, opinion, and the knowledge we gain. It's what makes this world turn. It's what starts a small revolution that has the potential to change the world. I am sure there have been many parents who have written about parenting or family for the New York Times, and I would be nothing any more special than the rest. But I promise you this: I will try harder, write harder, and be never more proud to see even the smallest article in your publication with my name and a tiny pic. And the best part? You wouldn't have to pay me.

So what do you say New York Times? Do you have it in your heart to help one out of your 4,122,415 Twitter followers, regular reader, and a fellow passionate writer cross this dream off of his bucket list? Will you help me achieve the dream of seeing my name in your publication? I will warn you, I am persistent. I value my life, and the short time I have, and I am one determined dude. My email address is below so give me a shout. You can also find contact information on my PR & Marketing page as well. Hope to hear from you soon! The Dude Abides!

Email - thedaddyyodude@gmail.com

To Friends

2011-12-12T14:23:00.000-05:00

Though the world may see me as just another,
you see me just for who I am.
You see me inside before out,
And you like me for what you see.

Thought I may stumble, thought I may fall,
your arms will still catch me,
because they are still there.
Therefore I will not fall alone.

Though our time may be short, and our distance great
We shall see each other as close.
For the way we see friends is not in meters or miles
but in memories and sharing and in the heart.
Where distance is only a thought away.

To a friend, in humble gratitude and respectful love
Two words can never truly express my deepest thoughts.
But as the only two words I have to use,
I use them in meaningful adoration.

Thank You

The Laundromat and a Lesson on Life

2011-12-09T09:18:00.000-05:00

I don't know how many people have actually watched a dryer while on laundry duty. And I can honestly say that tonight is the first time I have ever done so. I have, on occasion, zoned out while staring at the washers in the laundromat. At midnight on a cold night, it was all I could do to keep from falling asleep while watching and listening to the rhythmic rinse and spin cycle. Tonight however, I am not tired at all. In fact, I'm pretty well awake considering the evening the kids gave me. So tonight, I am sitting in the laundromat and observing.

There is a young man, maybe a little bit younger than me, washing what appears to be a security guard or prison guard uniform. There is a blonde girl, college aged I would guess by the textbooks scattered all over the folding table. My guess is she is washing before going home for the holidays and cramming for exams. There is also a much older gentlemen who is... well... I'm not sure exactly what he is doing. Then there is me. Sitting here in faded, stained blue jeans, a large (too large) dark gray ADIDAS hoodie, and brown clogs. Because, in real life, I am not that social of a person in such settings, I am staring at the dryer trying not to make eye contact with any of the other inhabitants.

I sit there in my chair, contemplating the answers to life, the universe, and everything. But no, I did not come out at 42. Still don't know where Deep Thought got that one from. Continuing my week long quest of self-searching and discovery, it occurred to me that I could relate life to the process of washing clothes. I know what you are thinking. "Dude, you really need to get a life." Seriously though, bare with me on this one.

In the washing machine - The wash is similar to the earlier years of our lives. We get washed of our initial being and the last specs of pureness are drawn our fabric as we are prepared and conditioned for life ahead. Life also agitates us through our earlier years to the point that sometimes up can become down, and you may never brush shoulders with the same people twice. Then life really throws us into the spin of things and presses us harder and harder with school, college, growing up. All of it is preparation for adulthood. Then we get tossed in the dryer.

In the dryer - In the dryer, clothes are tossed around in the same general circular motion the entire time. Adulthood consists greatly of going through the same motions over and over. Seems we are always close behind the the next best thing, and the past is close behind us. We my fall through the center sometimes and be crushed by the weight of everything going on around us. Or we may get too far out and get burned when we reach the very edge. As time goes on we start to dry out. We fan out once again into our own separate beings before finally coming to rest.

I'll let that soak in for a moment (no pun intended).

Pretty cool huh? See what happens when you sit in the laundromat too long? Now my clothes are dry, and in a weird way, I feel I understand them a lot better now. All the other people are gone and doing whatever it is life has them doing next. I... I will be returning home to warm clothes, and wearing a warm smile.

The Truth Is

2011-12-08T16:34:00.000-05:00

I am scared about many things in life. There are so many unknown variables in life and the ever present uncertainty of the timing of death. I am not scared of what happens after I die, my faith has that defined for me. I do fear what the experience of dying will be like. And with life, there is too much to miss, too much to do, and never enough time. How do I truly know that I am living my life to the fullest and to the best of my ability? How do I measure my life while still on this Earth?

I am burdened by a past that I cannot change. A great quote about the past comes from one of my favorite bands of all time, Stretch Arm Strong. "The choices I made, the price I paid. It was never enough. It will never be enough". Sometimes we pay a one time price for our actions. For criminals, this may be a jail term. For hurting a friendship, it may be an "I'm Sorry" letter and a hug. For other actions and decisions though, there is a longer termed price to pay. To this day, some of these decisions still haunt me. I do not regret that they happened because everything that happens makes us who we are today. But I am burdened by the inability to change what has happened. Sometimes the result of too much thinking.

I am weak. In many ways, I am not a strong man at all. Physically, emotionally, mentally. My vices and addictions have really started to catch up to me. I've been trying to quit smoking for years now. Within the last few weeks, it has taken such a toll that it seems like it is becoming a now or never deal to quit. I also have a heavy dependency on caffeine. From tea, to coffee, Red Bull, and tablets, if it has caffeine, I immediately want it. It is almost as difficult as giving up illegal drugs years ago. Emotionally and mentally, I know I am not where I care to be. I'm not completely down and out, but I'm not exactly up and at em either. I have allowed myself to become to occupied with thoughts and feelings that hold no real value. Petty and trivial.

I am human and therefore it is impossible for me to escape all of these feelings. It is also impossible for me to analyze, figure them out, and put them all into words. I can't possibly figure out and explain all of my feelings. I can't organize my thoughts well enough to make sense out of everything in life. I guess I was never meant to anyway. Too much thinking is not always a bad thing. Sometimes, digging and searching is a necessity to progress and understanding. And that is where I am now. Digging, searching, discovering, and progressing.

Product Review: The Learning Company New Series of Workbooks

2011-12-08T09:58:00.000-05:00

When it comes to education and learning, it doesn't stop when a child leaves the school for the day or for the weekend or for the summer. Learning is a constant experience that can happen at any time. When it comes to education and preparing your child for their advancement in school, it is important that parents take on a teaching role, and encourage their children to be active and excited about learning.

The Learning Company understands the need for active parents to be involved in their children's education. They also understand that children are more likely to be excited about learning if the teaching is involved and fun. With their new series of workbooks, The Learning Company (a division of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt) brings the excitement of familiar characters and fun activities to pencil and paper learning techniques. Characters such as Reader Rabbit and Curious George make appearances in the new series and help drive the fun of learning. The books can also be registered online for use with online games, downloads, and even a completion certificate when the child completes the workbook!

About The Learning Company

The Learning Company is a division of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, the world's largest provider of educational products and solutions for pre-K–12 learning. TheLearning Company is a recognized leader in educational software and adventure games that engage children of all ages as well as adults who have grown up solving cases with Carmen Sandiego and fording rivers along the Oregon Trail. As learningtools become increasingly adaptive and immersive, The Learning Companycombines its rich heritage and proven approach with the latest technology to makelearning fun for students, teachers and parents.

About Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

With education products and services used by 57 million students throughout all 50 U.S. states and 120 countries, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt is a global education and learning company. The world's largest provider of materials for pre-K–12 learning, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt is leading the way with innovative solutions and approaches to the challenges facing education today. Through curricula excellence coupled with technology innovations and professional services, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt collaborates with school districts, administrators, teachers, parents and students, providing interactive, results-driven learning solutions. Its Educational Consulting Services group works to increase student achievement in underperforming schools by developing, implementing and supporting education transformation through sustained district partnerships. With origins dating back to 1832, the Company also publishes an extensive line of reference works and award-winning literature for adults and young readers.

My Take On The Books

The Learning Company sent me "Learning with Curious George: Preschool Reading" and "Reader Rabbit: Let's Learn Kindergarten Reading" to review with my son. Little Man is in 4yo preschool this year and actively learning letters, spelling, and basic reading skills. The books are wonderfully illustrated with many different types of activities to foster a fun learning experience.

Preschool Reading was right up the alley of where Little Man is at in learning these new reading and writing skills. With activities centered around learning the correct order of the letters in the alphabet, to learning how letters go together to build words, this workbook includes a lot of fun activities around the basic building blocks or reading and writing. Little Man enjoyed the illustrations, and delighted in completing an activity correctly.

Kindergarten Reading is another well designed workbook. The learning points in this book were a little above where Little Man is at right now, so working through the book may not be as easy as the Preschool Reading book. The activities in the book are very engaging however, and may be perfectly suitable for children in Kindergarten to first grade.

Overall, these new workbooks from The Learning Company are another winner from the company that always strives to bring education to the home as well as the classroom. Coupled with online activities, these new workbooks from The Learning Company are a great at-home learning tool to keep your childs interest in learning when not in the classroom. They definitely win The DaddyYo Dude (and Little Man) seal of approval.

**Disclosure: The Learning Company sent me two workbooks to use with Little Man and review for the blog. Despite the great gesture of free educational materials, all opinions expressed in this post are my own. I do not provide false reviews.**

Kicking the Bucket List in 2012

2011-12-07T20:24:00.000-05:00

I made a bucket list. It now resides in my otherwise empty wallet. I talked in my previous post about life being too short and not taking friendships for granted. During the conversation that led to that post, I talked to a good friend about making a bucket list. Well, this morning, I did just that.

Some people would add great, noble, spiritual, or enlightening experiences. Me, I'm the type of guy that likes to get stupid, act goofy, and not give a damn about what is being said about it. I love acting as young as my children, even though my wife may argue I act too much like them at times. So what would The Dude want to do before he dies? I pondered this before I set off to make this short list. Loving to have fun and have a wide range of fun activities under my belt, I came up with the following:

Driving an ice cream truck

Run onto the field with the South Carolina Gamecocks football team at the beginning of a Carolina vs Clemson game

Perform "Lucky" on stage with Seven Mary Three

Take a few laps around Daytona at breakneck speeds

Ring the bell at the New York Stock Exchange

Visit Germany, England, and France

Graduate from college

Publish an article in the New York Times

Hike Table Rock once more

Swim with an actual Blue Whale

Do a dancey dance on Yo Gabba Gabba

Visit the capitol cities of all 50 states

Carry the Olympic torch

Have drinks with Eddie Vedder

Meet the Dalai Llama

Watch the sun set in San Fransisco Bay

And that is where my list ends for now. Some of the fun and awesome stuff I want to do before I die. Why did I decide to share this here on the blog? Because I also want to share my goal for this list. And that is to mark off at least half of by this same day next year. Granted I am given that long to get it done.

Life is way too short. Something I have thought much about recently. If I am blessed enough to have 365 days to do this, then I want to make it happen. Some of these I will do on my own, and some I will have good friends with me to share in the experiences. And of course I will write about it, tweet about it, and make the best of it, every time I get the chance to cross one off.

Now it's your turn. If you knew you had 365 days to cross something off of your bucket list, what would that experience be?

The Bucket List and The Ice Cream Truck

2011-12-07T09:25:00.000-05:00

The pleasure and honor of having good, close friends, is something I will never take for granted. Those who stand by you, those who stand with you, and those who care to really know you. They are people who we remember for all of our lives, they remember us, and no matter how far apart we are, the memories we share with others keep those friendships alive.

For me, letting people in to become that kind of friend is not that easy. I'll admit that I am not a very trusting person, though I may be too trusting at times. When it comes down to the core of who I am, and letting people see and know that, I can be very closed off. There are not a lot of people who do know me on such an inside level. But for the few who do, the few that I have learned to trust with the essence of myself, they can never know exactly how much they mean to my life.

Last night, I was fortunate enough to be conversing with one such good friend. We talked of our life's goings on, health, death, and the blessing of having breath. We discussed the past, and a future that is never guaranteed to us. The discussion turned to talks of our passion for being alive and enjoying what life we have. Both agreeing that life is too short for BS and there is a lot to do, a lot to learn, and a lot to love in the time that we are giving.

At this point I suggested we could do like the two dudes on "The Bucket List" and create a list of fun and crazy things we would like to do before we die. Knowing how short our time with friends can be on this Earth, why shouldn't we set out to do all the things friends talk about before the time is up and the sand runs down? My first suggestion of what we could do: be ice cream truck drivers.

Do you remember how magical it was to hear the first distant chimes and bells of the ice cream truck? I remember hearing it echo throughout the neighborhood, and how awesome it was when that truck rounded the corner onto Stuart Lane and made it's way to being in front of my parents house. The man behind the wheel and counter was of Santa style magic, bringing us ice cold, friendly served ice cream sandwiches.

There is something just simply magical and delighting about the ice cream truck. Why is it so highly ranked on my bucket list? For one day, I would love to be able to drive around, and be that magical man that serves up smiles and laughs to children all over. I would love to be the one driving that truck, the one with the chimes, bells, and songs, that capture the eardrums of kids and immediately, if just briefly, brings a smile to their face and delight to their day. And what would be better than doing just that with a good friend?

Sometimes as we grow older, we get lost in the most trivial of life events. We get lost in the unimportant, and the ridiculous. We spend time quarreling over petty thing. We lose the time we could have to be doing all of these things on our bucket lists. We take for granted the friendships we have, and what they could mean. That little ice cream truck, the one with the magical bells, whistles, and songs, is my reminder.

The reminder not to take life for granted. The reminder to not take friendships for granted. The reminder that sometimes it's the simple things that bring magic and joy into the lives of others. Life is too short, time is too fading, to let these things pass us by. I expect someday soon, you will find me, along with a close friend, driving around that truck, bringing joy and deliciousness to a neighborhood near you. Why? Because life would be to short not to.

Dreams, Wishes, and Goals

2011-12-05T21:23:00.000-05:00

Dreams, they complicate us. To a certain tone, we all have a being, a part of us that exists only in a state of deep sleep, and deep lost conscience. There are thoughts we don't share, there are visions we hope we never see. There are visions we hope to see, and we try to recreate this experience in a different sleep, in a different time. The hopes that these dreams bring to us drive them into more than just a dream. They occupy our thoughts outside of sleep, and soon, they become wishes.

I remember wishing after throwing the penny in the fountain. I remember counting on being able to single out the first star to appear after dark so that my dreams could be versed to something else in the hopes of seeing them in truth. I can remember wishing I hadn't done this, and hadn't done that. As a child, wishes are what give us the constant hope that children carry with them. Without them, we would have been dark, doomed in an evolutionary progression of sorrow, and solitude.

As adults, wishes are seldom of the very things that captivate the deepest reaches of our imagination. They are professions of our dreams. The dream of something better, something different, something that once was, or something that just won't be soon enough. They are not the dreams that leave us full of wonderment about dwelling in an enchanted place that we thought was lost back with our childhood days. For the most part, they are dreams that speak to us. They are dreams that motivate us, push us to do better, to think better, to be better. They are dreams that we start to formulate putting in to realistic, and tangible motion.

From there we start to set goals. We start to see that what started out as a tiny seed, could conceivably become real. We analyze, digitize, visualize, and equalize all the parts of the layout. No detail should be left out. They don't just throw steel beams and glass together and call it a great work of architecture. There has to be careful consideration on a number of levels before the forward motion can begin and progress is made. By this point, it could have been a painstaking process and it is quick for our goals to become our burdens. At some time, we all give up on a goal. And it leaves us right back where we started.

Our dreams.

Those visions, those thoughts, those hopes. The ones that complicate us inside the world of the mind we know not. The parts of us that may never have been lost, just lost hope that we would ever return. Spending too much time trying to materialize what dreams cannot be. We lost the ambitions that dreams give us. The cycle repeats for only one reason. We try to materialize what cannot be held. Rather, we turn away from the intangible that dreams and wishes drive us with.

Hope, wonderment, excitement, love, integrity, oneness, nirvana, and peace.

The Dude's Guide to Last Minute Holiday Shopping

2011-12-02T08:41:00.000-05:00

Oh yes, it is that time of year again. Black Friday is over and it is time to get down to some serious shopping. This time of year can be a very big stress inducer as the shopping days left seem to disappear. FYI: as of the writing of this post there are only 24 shopping days left before Christmas.

Wise words that Hitchhiker's Guide speaks I tell you. No need to freak out and panic about the slimming days left to get your holiday shopping done.

Here are a few tricks to keep the stress level down and complete shopping on time without too much hassle.Typically I am the kind to wait until the last minute to get everything done. Over the last few years I have decided that this is not the best way to go. Especially now that I have kids. Thankfully The Wifey takes care of making the lists and figuring out where we are going to get everything. I just help decide what we are getting everyone. Still though, I always dread the days that the shopping actually has to be done. So what can one do to bring the stress level down?

Be Prepared – One of my biggest problems in years past was not knowing what I was going to get. It is hard to get into a retail store without knowing why you are there in the first place. Make a list, check it twice, know exactly what you are getting and for whom.

Set a Budget – Oh no, there’s that word. B-U-D-G-E-T … Allow yourself a certain amount of money to be spent and do your best to stay in that range. If you are on a tight budget, like us, there are plenty of great buys out there at great prices that will allow you to stay within said budget.

Window Shopping and Online Shopping – It is always a good idea to price shop before you buy. Many retailers sell the same products, but there is always that one that will have it cheaper than the rest. Online shopping can provide some monetary relief as a lot of online retailers offer free shipping or great discounts and special offers. Take the time to browse around and see what you can find.

Coupons – This is not a shock. Online and through sales papers. coupons are a holiday shopper’s best friends. Great bargains, great prices, and sometimes free stuff. Come on, who loves free stuff? THIS GUY DOES

Don't Panic – Remember, it is just shopping. Treat it like any other time you go out shopping. Don’t let the stress of the word “holiday” get you in a panic. Have a fun and enjoyable experience and watch as the people you are giving to light up with excitement.

Do you have any more tips to make the holiday shopping season less of a stress inducer? Share in the comments and let’s all have a great holiday season!

Tough Act but a Tough Act to Follow

2011-12-01T20:57:00.000-05:00

Friday is a mixed bag for me. Saturday, doubly so. It's the end of my wife's work week and the beginning of my long work weekend. She works Monday through Friday, and I work double shifts on Saturdays and Sundays. Really not a bad deal at all. Instead of working 6 days a week, I only work two. I am home for five days at a time to be with my kids. I wish I had for a long while. My weekend work schedule can be tough, but it's not as bad as it sounds. It's 30-32 hours for two days of work. I consider it a win. I miss the kids like crazy, but before I know it, it's back to 5 days off.

I won't lie though. There are plenty of times where heading into work feels like a Godsend after the kids have given me a rough week. Does that sound mean? Every parent needs a break every now and then. When my wife was home it was my days off, going to wash clothes, or doing other out of the house errands. It was (if brief at the most) a reprieve from the stress that a 4yo and 2yo in bad moods can cause. And that is a stress level that rises rapidly, let me me tell ya.

So sometimes, I really enjoy going into work for the long weekend. Plus, I worked with so many people for so long, it's good to catch up and goof off a little during my time there. Then again, I seem to always be talking about the kids or something that they did during the five days I was at home that week. Good, bad, silly, serious, I talk about it all. What can I say? My children are my life. But the more I talk about them, the more I start to miss them, and my weekend becomes that much longer.

Being at home with the kids is not a walk in the park. It's not always the funny and fun things that I post on Twitter or Facebook, or even here. There are a lot of headaches, a lot of that "tough love" that your parents used to try to teach you about. One of those things you don't learn until you have kids yourself. There are the reprieves of an early bedtime and the dread of a rainy day. It's truly a tough act. But even when the week is at it's worst, it's a tough act to follow.

Being a parent is the greatest joy I have ever known. I wouldn't trade any of it for any thing on this Earth. The bad days included. I would not give back any of the days I have had with my kids. Sure, it's not an easy road, there is a lot of learning involved that you can't study, and a lot of contact with bodily emissions, but nothing can replace it. It's an experience like none other. It's a tough act, but a tough act to follow.

Taking Twitter by Storm

2011-12-01T08:21:00.001-05:00

So this is an idea I have been playing around with in my head for quite some time now. From a basic building block blogger standpoint, we write a post, hope a lot of people read it, and hope that people will share their thoughts in our comments section. In fact, I believe it was the wise @TheJackB who told me that comments are a bloggers currency. And I believe this. Like I said, the man is pretty wise.

But I'll be the first to admit that I am the worst for not commenting. I read a lot of blogs, and a lot more posts everyday. I enjoy them, I learn from them, I get a good laugh, but for some reason, I am horrible about not leaving comments. This led me to my next thought about how comments become discussion sometimes.

Discussion is what helps social media thrive at the heart. It is how we share our points of view with like minded and not so like minded people, we learn, we grow, and we grow as a community. Discussion is how we learn both sides of an argument without making a judgement. It is what makes this world turn. Discussion is also a great way to get to know your blog readers and for them to get to know you. So how do you take an ordinary blog post, and make it more, and turn it into instant discussion?

Well, I'm no blogging expert but here is my idea. This Tuesday, at 9pm EST, I will be doing my first live tweeting of a blog post. What does this mean you ask? I will be tweeting my blog post, 140 characters at a time, as I write it. Why am I doing it? I thought it would be a fun way to interact with readers and Twitter followers. It gives the chance for the readers to see the post as it is constructed, and be able to chime in, comment, and discuss, as I write the post.

I will be using the #DaddyYoChat hashtag to make it easier to follow along as I write the post. My hope is that I will be doing this once a week if the interest is there for it. Think about it: sitting down on Twitter, reading the next post as it is being written, able to follow the process in real time, and discuss in real time. After all, discussion is what makes the world go around, and comments are a bloggers currency.

So please join me Tuesday, December 6 at 9pm EST for the very first #DaddyYoChat live blog post to watch, to read, and discuss parental jealousy in the home and how jealousy affects the relationships within the home. I hope you will join me! Until then, The Dude Abides!